"It's because it was her first real schooling experience," said Kai, 26. "How you prepare your kids for it and how you talk about it with them, I knew for our daughter, it would leave a lasting impression."

As thousands of students statewide head back to school beginning next month, parents will need to pay extra attention to children in the transitional years — those entering kindergarten, middle school and high school for the first time.

The challenges parents can expect depend on what stage their children are at. Many kindergartners experience separation anxiety, while tweens entering middle school begin to assert their independence, and adolescents starting high school are prone to peer pressure.

"Anytime there are major changes in a child's life, it can be difficult for them and they can be vulnerable," said Jeffrey D. Stern, a clinical psychologist who specializes in child and family issues. ...Ê"You can't assume that they'll thrive if you leave them alone."

There are several things parents can do for their kids, regardless of their age, to help them adapt to their new school environment and set them up for success.

"Be available and responsive," said Stern, an instructor in child development and research methods at the University of Hawai'i.

Follow your child's lead: If your kindergartner wants to hold your hand as you walk into class together, then hold his hand. If your teen wants to talk about her high school concerns, then listen, Stern said.

"Also, create structure and safety," he said. Parents can do this by visiting the school with their children before school starts and exploring things the students can look forward to, such as where their classrooms or lockers will be and which of their friends will also be attending the school.

Finally, "communicate about the transition ahead of time," Stern said. Discuss how these transitioning students feel about the change, what they can expect, potential problems that may arise and how to handle them. This can help ease a child's concerns, Stern said.

High school

Ashley Manuel's first day at Waipahu High School was an overwhelming experience. Like many other freshmen, Manuel felt intimidated by the large campus and scores of unfamiliar faces.

"There were a lot of changes from intermediate (school), where all your friends from elementary were there, to high school, where there are three (grades) ... of older people," said Manuel, 16, who will be a senior at Waipahu High. ...Ê"I felt kind of scared because it was a whole new place."

Manuel's advice to parents of freshmen who may suffer the same anxieties: "Talk to them," she said: Ask teens if they are looking forward to high school and address their concerns.

"The big factor here is they're into adolescence, and the issues are much different from when they were younger," said Dr. Vijaya Reddy, a pediatrician at The Queen's Medical Center.

Such issues among teens include having a strong desire to develop their identity and independence, wanting to fit in with their peers, and being much more prone to at-risk behaviors, such as substance abuse and sexual activity, Reddy said: "Be involved is what the fundamental thing is, and be available."

Parents should talk openly with their children about things like drugs, alcohol and concerns about appearance, the pediatrician said. They should also discuss expectations, such as grades, and set limits, including who the students can hang out with, where they can go and their curfew.

"Reassure them it is OK to share with (you)..., the good or bad," she advised.

Supporting a teen's interests — be they academic, athletic or social — should also be a priority, Reddy said.

Moving into middle school

Joji Tokunaga, mother of eight children ages 4 to 15, said the transitional years went smoothly for her children, who "watched out" for each other. The challenge her kids had to overcome was being too reserved.

"I had them get involved with extracurricular activities in school," said the 45-year-old Tokunaga, who lives in the Leeward area. "I told them it's good to be all-around and not just focused on their studies."

Her older children who joined school clubs and sports became more sociable and well-rounded, said Tokunaga, a dentist.

But social development is just one of the challenges students face when transitioning from elementary to middle school. Other issues include intensified expectations for both educational performance and individual responsibility, reports the National Middle School Association.

All of this comes at a time when middle school students are beginning to mature physically, and to think of themselves as individuals outside of their families, according to the association.

"Suddenly there's a desire to be more independent and there are risks that go with that, so parents need to be more attentive," Hawai'i Psychological Association member Stern said.

This complicated period has often been associated with a decline in academic achievement, motivation and self-confidence. It's a time when students are most likely to experiment with at-risk behaviors, the association reports. The organization recommends parents be aware of their children's needs and concerns; maintain strong family connections; stay involved in their schooling; and support their children's efforts to become independent.

Kindergarten readiness

Despite Kapua Kai's proactive measures, her daughter Liana experienced some separation anxiety on the first day of kindergarten.

"She was very shy and quiet, and not really as outgoing as some of the other students were," Kai recalled. "She did go to preschool, and that's why we were so surprised."

But after a few days of adjusting and some encouraging words from mom and dad, Liana opened up, Kai said.

Aside from separation anxiety, social and developmental issues are common among kindergartners, Stern said.

There "are differences in maturity," he said. "Some 5-year-olds are really ready to handle kindergarten, and some cry a lot."

Parents are encouraged to attend kindergarten orientations, which is a way to meet and discuss expectations with instructors, and introduce children to the classroom experience, said Antoinette Gopaul, a counselor and dean of the lower school at Sacred Hearts Academy.

"This puts their (the children's) mind at ease," Gopaul said. "So when they show up on the first day, it's not a completely foreign environment to them."

Aside from handling first-day jitters, there are ways parents can ready their children for the entire academic year. For example, Child Care Aware, a childcare resource, recommends parents encourage their children to tell stories, preparing them for reading and writing, and that families cook together, measuring ingredients to develop math concepts.

"You have to make that transition as meaningful and easy as possible," Gopaul said. "Give them encouragement and work very closely with their teachers."