The Wrights, of Indianapolis, are like many parents working two full-time jobs — home and career. With children, there is the added pressure of running to daycare and taking the kids to extra-curricular activities. So, how do parents make time for themselves?

Most say they schedule the time. It's as important to their daily or weekly routines as eating lunch, taking a shower or hugging their children.

Enforcing an early bedtime for children is one way to squeeze in some alone time. Joining a car pool is another way. Some busy parents turn to church organizations that offer childcare free or at minimal cost to give parents some time off.

Such personal time prevents parental burnout, writes Bruce H. Axelrod, a physician and author of "The Joy of Parenting" (Pia Press, 1991).

"You can't be a good parent if you're worn out at the end of every day," he says.

Sometimes, making the time is the difference between saying, "yes" to a friend's offer to share dinner and "no" to an appointment to another committee.

Social worker Caroline Steward, says adults are their own worst enemies when it comes to trying to take it easy.

"We push and push and feel like we have to do it all," she says. "It's important to teach us to relax. If we don't, we'll send ourselves over the deep end. It's a shift in the mindset, but we need to tell ourselves that it's OK to sit down and read a book, to give ourselves a half hour of quiet time. Even five minutes helps rejuvenate us."

In addition to teaching, Elizabeth Wright tutors after school and takes classes two nights a week toward her principal's license. To stay organized, she and husband Kevin keep a master calendar. That includes scheduling "couple time" and "family time."

If she were queen for a day, she says, she would exercise, shop and treat herself to a makeover. For now, she looks forward to a weekly manicure and date nights with her husband.

"If you're trying to work in time for each other, you have to be willing to drop some things and forget about cleaning the house or running another errand," she says.

Growing apart with few common interests is a major cause for parents splitting up, says Robert Billingham, an Indiana University professor of human development and family studies.

"There's an argument that marriage should be more important than parenting. If you don't make time for that marriage, you are sending a message to your children that it isn't as important as the other things in life," Billingham says, adding that if the marriage is good, the parenting is almost always better.

For many parents, especially singles, Billingham says guilt gets in the way of spending time alone.

"One of the things we've lost sight of is that the purpose of parenting is to teach children to become self-sufficient and independent," he says. "So a parent taking time for himself or his relationship is showing how to take care of yourself."