'The e-mails don't come anymore'
| • | In Remembrance of Our Troops |
| • | Share your condolences |
By William Cole
Advertiser Military Writer
There is the passage of time, and the statistics that go along with it, but for Rae Oldaugh, the loss of her son in Iraq is no easier to deal with or comprehend now than it was in January.
Photos by Bruce Asato • The Honolulu Advertiser
"Just the other day, I said to my husband, 'I think it's been seven weeks now since I last heard from Allan,' and that was probably my most profound thought recently — that I haven't heard from him," the Roseville, Mich., woman said. "The e-mails don't come anymore."
Elizabeth and Susan House, sister and mother of Petty Officer 3rd Class John House, grieve at the memorial to the fallen troops.
Lance Cpl. Allan Klein's last e-mail came 23 hours before he was killed in the crash of a CH-53E Super Stallion on Jan. 26 in a sandstorm in western Iraq.
"He e-mailed us to tell us he was going up to the Jordanian border," Oldaugh said. "He had his gripes about it, but he had to go."
The 26 Hawai'i-based Marines and a sailor who perished in the crash, along with a 19-year-old Marine killed Feb. 2 outside Fallujah, were remembered yesterday in a rare memorial service at the State Capitol.
Sixty-two family members representing 18 of the service members came to Hawai'i from across the country for the memorial, which drew about 2,000 people.
Lined up were 28 sets of empty desert boots, lei-framed photos and upturned M-16 rifles topped by camouflage-covered helmets in typical combat memorial fashion. Seldom have these displays been seen in such high numbers.
Nancy Ramos, mother of slain Lance Cpl. Hector Ramos, comforts her son, Isiah,12.
The Jan. 26 helicopter crash in Iraq, along with other U.S. deaths that day, represented the deadliest day for American forces since the start of the war in March of 2003.
"We want all the families to know that the people of our state share your loss and will remember your courage and your strength," Gov. Linda Lingle said.
Bagpipers played "Amazing Grace," taps was sounded and there was a 21-gun salute to the fallen Hawai'i service members.
As Hawai'i has struggled with the enormity of the crash, individual family members continue to try to cope with the loss of husbands, sons and brothers.
"It's always nice to see the community get out and show their support, but ... it doesn't get any easier," said Melanie House, cradling little James Cash House who was born on Christmas Eve, a son her husband never got to see.
Melanie House, wife of Petty Officer 3rd Class John House, showed off the words on the shirt of their son, James Cash House, after the memorial service yesterday to honor Hawai'i-based Marines and a sailor killed in the war in Iraq.
Petty Officer 3rd Class John D. House, 28, a corpsman from Ventura, Calif., who took care of and died alongside the Kane'ohe Bay Marines, saw his son only by video phone.
One of four wives living in Hawai'i at the time of the crash, Melanie House said she's leaving the state in about a week and going back to Southern California to be with his family and hers. They live about 10 miles apart.
"We've been here two years. We loved Hawai'i. I wasn't ready to leave," House said, adding she loved the beach, and riding with her husband on his Harley-Davidson motorcycle.
Her son wore a T-shirt with his father's picture that said, "I'm proud of my daddy, Hospital Corpsman 3rd Class Johnny House."
"I just feel for all these other families, because I know what it feels like," she said. "It doesn't seem fair — so many of them all at one time."
She said the Navy and Marine Corps "have both been so great, very, very helpful and very supportive."
Colleen Parkin, right, mother of Cpl. Matthew Smith, is comforted by Matthew's father, Gary Smith, his wife, Laura, and Matthew's stepfather, Stan Parkin (in foreground with cap).
As she spoke, House, 27, held hands with Elisabeth Spence, 22, whose husband, Lance Cpl. Joseph B. Spence of Scotts Valley, Calif., also was killed. Their daughter, Providence, was born in September.
"I'm just really grateful for Mel ... and the other wives," Spence said. She, too, is moving to California, and away from the military with her husband gone.
"I think it's going to be really hard. Not only have I lost my husband, but also all of his closest friends," she said.
Ten of the service members were married, said Col. Jeff Patterson, commander of the 3rd Marine Regiment. First Lt. Dustin M. Shumney's wife is left to raise three children on her own, Patterson said.
"Every Marine and sailor whose name you see behind me has a family who will miss him and a story that should be told," Patterson said.
"The loss is particularly sad," Patterson added, "because ... every one of those brave men were heroes who recently fought in the battle of Fallujah."
Eight 1st Battalion, 3rd Marine members were killed in a suicide car bomb attack on Oct. 30. Another 11 were killed in Iraq — most of them in Fallujah. Many of the 1/3 Marines are en route to Okinawa by ship, and will return to Hawai'i in the spring.
The Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society, which is supported by donations, paid for the families to come to Hawai'i.
Seeing the 28 sets of boots and rifles, Oldaugh said, "It's too many. I really support the troops — I don't support the war."
She never saw her son's body because it was a closed-casket funeral, making it harder to accept that the 34-year-old who wanted to be a police officer really was gone.
She has asked for a report on the crash, believed to be an accident in a sandstorm. Another helicopter was flying with the chopper that went down.
"Somebody had said to me when they entered the sandstorm, one was on the outside of it, and had radioed to the other one to come out and up somehow to avoid it, but it must have been too late," Oldaugh said.
"It's sad, still very sad," Marine Cpl. Lauren Hackler, 21, said of the mood on the Kane'ohe Bay base.
Reach William Cole at wcole@honoluluadvertiser.com or 525-5459.
