Posted on: Tuesday, March 22, 2005

ABOUT WOMEN
Moving on to build life together

By Tanya Bricking Leach
Advertiser Relationships Writer

Before the milk expires, my husband should be home from Afghanistan.

Dates on the milk carton have been among the ways I've come to measure milestones this year without letting miscalculations sour me while my husband's been at war.

Just before he left, my sweetheart gave me a wine bottle with boxes drawn on the outside to represent each month he'd be gone.

I've colored in almost all of the boxes.

Now that empty bottle is overflowing with anticipation of what's to come: a new chapter of our lives. It's the part where we actually get to be together.

As much as I've tried to live in the moment while he's been away, patience has not come easily.

Friends, work, distractions and humor have gotten me through it. Even e-mails and phone calls from readers have made me feel as if I made a connection that mattered.

(But for every person who says, "Wow, this year has flown by!" when I tell them my husband is coming home, I can think of a few worrisome nights, phone calls and e-mails that added years to my life in a single shot.)

As someone who has always thought of herself as independent and progressive, I've been surprised how old-fashioned this year has made me feel. (Or maybe I just feel older.)

I've thought more about duty and service than I ever considered, and I've learned not to roll my eyes at the old standbys of faith, hope and love. Those things certainly have made my young marriage stronger, despite the distance.

This year also has changed my perspective. I was always reluctant to turn into a traditional military wife because I thought it was too traditional of a role for today's woman.

But there are worse things than following someone you love because you love them.

Now that my husband is almost home, we're both ready for the honeymoon to start again.

And we're ready to move on.

The next phase of life means leaving some things behind ... including this job and this island, which I have grown to love.

It seems only right that since I have written about relationships and shared bits of my life with readers, that I say thank you and goodbye.

It feels weird to be doing this, both scary and liberating, but I have no regrets about going off to try to live life well.

For the first time, I'm following someone else's career. I'm cultivating my marriage, and I'm planting the seeds for the next cycle of life to begin.

Saying goodbye here is saying hello to all the opportunity that awaits.

So, before I ramble on and on until the milk expires, I'll get right to the point and say...

Aloha.

This is columnist Tanya Bricking Leach's last piece for The Advertiser. She and her husband will soon be moving to Fort Rucker, Ala. Reach her at tanya.leach@us.army.mil.