honoluluadvertiser.com

Sponsored by:

Comment, blog & share photos

Log in | Become a member
The Honolulu Advertiser

Posted on: Tuesday, March 29, 2005

ABOUT WOMEN
Going to heck in a handbag

 •  More About Women/Men columns

By Catherine E. Toth
Advertiser Staff Writer

It was time. And I couldn't take it any longer.

The handbag I had been using for the past year was edging toward semiretirement. It was functional enough, but lost its charisma months ago.

I approached the search for the new bag the way women start dating after a breakup: Determined to find The One.

It had to be perfect.

I wanted a pocket for my cell phone but not for eating utensils. I wanted straps and buckles but nothing dominatrix. And I wanted something that would fit everything I need to function on a daily basis.

And that's when it hit me.

I've become — gasp! — my mom.

Not that that's a bad thing. I wouldn't mind inheriting some of her better qualities, namely patience and a penchant for peas.

But I had resisted acquiring her innate ability — and desire, I've come to realize — to carry an entire medicine cabinet in her seemingly bottomless purse.

On any given day, my mom carries the following: lip balm, Tylenol, emery boards, nail clippers, throat lozenges, tissue, matches, toothpicks, Band-Aids, chewing gum, eyedrops, hydrocortisone cream and Bean-O.

That's in addition to coup-ons, a sewing kit, a map of the University of Hawai'i campus, stamps, packets of Equal, an eyeglass repair kit and the instruction manual for the range hood she wants to replace.

The woman is prepared for any major catastrophe. Or a 12-hour sale.

I, on the other hand, imagine the contents of my handbag to be much more reasonable. You never know when you're going to need oil blotters and a purple pen, right?

Truth is I've taken the Boy Scout oath to "be prepared" a bit too seriously. My car trunk is proof enough.

Three towels, two beach mats, an extra rashguard, a second pair of running shoes, a stack of magazines, a flashlight, gardening gloves, a water bottle, slippers, an emergency swimsuit and duct tape. Because you never know.

And I've downsized.

My accountant-girlfriend would travel with sets of outfits, from kickboxing gear to clubbing attire — with matching shoes — in the trunk of her Honda. My designer-girlfriend doesn't leave home without two umbrellas, a beach chair, an extra pair of sandals, a pillow and a volleyball. Just in case a game breaks out on the drive home.

There's no resisting what has become inherently female. (Or at least inherently me.)

We're a prepared — or paranoid — species. We like to have some sense of control over our lives. We want to be ready for anything, come gale-force winds or girls' night out.

So I succumbed.

I went with a mid-size handbag big enough to fit a notebook, planner, digital camera, iPod, oversized wallet, bottle of Advil, three pens, two lipsticks and concealer. But not in an obvious way.

And my reporter-girlfriend who was with me? Yeah, she bought one, too.

Reach Catherine E. Toth at ctoth@honoluluadvertiser.com or 535-8103.