By David Shapiro

We're forever talking about how keiki always come first in our society, but our actions too often say otherwise.

When the interests of children and adults come into conflict, many of us are awfully quick to give primary consideration to the adults.

Examples abound in news stories about allegations of sex abuse at an 'Aiea dance studio, the Hedy Sullivan child-abuse case on Kaua'i and new revelations about state bungling in the abuse and ultimate disappearance of Peter Boy Kema on the Big Island.

In 'Aiea, 20-year-old dance instructor Daniel Jones is charged with sexually assaulting four of his students, ages 13 and 14.

When he appeared in court to plead not guilty, he was surrounded by family and friends proclaiming their certainty that he couldn't have done what he's accused of.

The owner of the studio said Jones will be welcome back "any time" once it all blows over.

A criminal defendant is innocent until proven guilty, and we all deserve the love of family and friends in difficult times.

But perhaps we owe it to the keiki to be more reserved in our judgments about what possibly could have happened until these young girls, who have been found credible by prosecutors, have a fair chance to tell their stories.

Sometimes, sympathy for the accused abuser over the young victim continues even after guilt is established.

On Kaua'i, Hedy Sullivan maintained solid support of directors at the Kula Aupuni Niihau A Kahelelani Aloha charter school, where she was principal, after she pleaded guilty to brutally beating her adopted son, who had to be removed from her care when he was 11.

According to prosecutors, the abuse included choking the boy, tying him up, scalding him with water, beating him with a bat and threatening to cut out his tongue with scissors.

Nonetheless, school directors and prominent community leaders turned out in force to support Sullivan at her sentencing, where she was described as looking regal.

Some of her backers essentially blamed the abuse on the young victim, whom they described as difficult and unruly.

Circuit Judge George Masuoka was moved to sentence Sullivan to a year in prison instead of the 10-year maximum he had intended.

There are cultural issues here that we may not fully understand, but it doesn't change the fact that the appropriate way to handle even the most incorrigible child is to seek help, not subject him to inhuman abuse.

It doesn't change the fact that a felony child abuser has no business supervising the care of children in a state-funded school.

Yet there is no sign that the school's directors, who kept Sullivan on the job until she was sentenced to prison, have closed the door on giving her the job back when she gets out.

In Peter Boy's case, the state released disturbing new information over the weekend about how the 6-year-old Hilo child was heinously abused and ultimately disappeared eight years ago under the noses of state social workers who left him with his parents despite clear signs that the family was seriously dysfunctional.

Now that the state is finally releasing records that could bring some measure of justice for Peter Boy, whom prosecutors believe is dead, social workers responsible for the gaping cracks he fell through are still more concerned about themselves than Peter Boy.

Their union threatened legal action if a worker's name is not removed from the released records, as if that person has some privacy right to evade scrutiny of slipshod work and its tragic consequences.

Our words about always putting keiki first would mean something if we actually did it.

David Shapiro, a veteran Hawai'i journalist, can be reached by e-mail at dave@volcanicash.net.