"Coming up with the right plate is kind of like a cattle brand," he said. "It's pretty permanent, so it better be good."

His new book, "America's Funniest License Plates: The Baby Name Book for Your Car" (Bonneville Books, $9.95), is an exercise on the do's and don'ts of picking plates.

Ford estimates that there are 10 million vanity plates in America. While it's hard to confirm that number, there's no doubt that these smile-producing metal rectangles spark interest.

"There are three kinds of drivers," Ford writes in his book. "Those who have personalized plates, those who read them and those who think all the good ones are already taken."

His book makes plenty of suggestions, based on your occupation, your marital status — even your religion.

Dentists might pick 2THMKER or FLOS-M or IFXSMLS. Female letter carriers go by FEMAIL or MAILGRL.

Personalizing plates "crosses all ethnic lines, all social and economic lines, all gender and age lines," he said. "I like that part."

This is his second book on the subject. In 1989, after two years of scouring DMV lists, he wrote "California Traffic Talk." It got him exposure on late-night TV talk shows.

Ford, who lives in Salt Lake City, once lost a bet on a plate. He was talking with his brother at a Las Vegas casino about license plates when another patron overheard them and challenged Ford to figure out his plate: NEDKCME