Making wookiee or wheezy

By Frank Lovece
Newsday

Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) and his onetime mentor Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) fight an apocalyptic battle on the roiling lava surface of the planet Mustafar as "Revenge of the Sith" brings the "Star Wars" film epics to a visually splashy finish. 20th Century Fox

After "The Phantom Menace" and "The Clone Wars" — the largely disappointing fourth and fifth films of the "Stars Wars" saga — expectations for the final, planned entry were as low as the Sarlacc's belly. (Trust us — that's low.)

Yet like the die-hard heroes of those cliffhanger serials from which "Star Wars" takes inspiration, "Revenge of the Sith," pulls off a breathtaking, last-minute rescue.

With the long-awaited "Sith's" arrival — and with "Star Wars" creator George Lucas having announced both the end of the film franchise and the development of a TV series to fill in the story between this prequel and the original 1977 movie — it's as good a time as any to reflect on the best and worst moments of a pop-culture juggernaut nearly 30 years old and stronger than ever.

So what constitutes cool in this context? Moments that starkly show what a character is all about, that give us an unforeseen twist, that have become iconic and that generate a "Wow!" Or, sometimes, it's just a moment of gee-whiz wizardry that reminds us that moving pictures are supposed to move.

Here's our selection for:

The top five coolest "Star Wars" moments:

5. Lost in spaceship ("Star Wars," 1977). The seemingly endless glide of the Imperial Star Destroyer, entering the screen in the foreground and filling it to the horizon, was an awakening jolt from the lithe, little rockets and flying saucers that previously had been the province of sci-fi film and TV.

4. Han Solo shoots first ("Star Wars"). When we first meet charming scoundrel Han Solo, we learn immediately that this isn't your daddy's heroic sidekick. No white-hat cowboy he, Han shoots first — his blaster hidden beneath a table — and shoots to kill when confronted by a bounty hunter. Greedo never got a shot off. Granted, he had a gun pointed at Han the whole time, but still ... (See also Lamest Moment No. 1.)

3. Leia in the metal bikini chokes Jabba to death ("Jedi"). Hellooooo, Princess! Who knew Carrie Fisher was hot?

2. Enter Obi-Wan Kenobi ("Star Wars"). When the great Sir Alec Guinness throws back his hood and reveals the weathered, comforting, wise yet inscrutable face of Ben Kenobi, even those who never saw "Lawrence of Arabia" or his Oscar-winning performance in "The Bridge on the River Kwai" knew something special was happening.

1. "I am your father!" ("Empire"). It's Oedipal, it's biblical, it's Joseph Campbell. Darth Vader, seeking to lure Luke to the dark side, reveals his paternal secret during a lightsaber battle in which the father cuts off his son's hand.

For all their pulp-fiction faults and studiously deliberate melodrama, the films' melding of populist cinema, grand themes and eternal verities doesn't get any purer than that.

The five lamest "Star Wars" moments:

5. Special guest star Jabba the Hutt ("Star Wars: Special Edition"). In a computer-generated effect not too well added to a scene filmed for but unused in the original 1977 release, Jabba talks money with Han Solo on the street in Mos Eisley. The plot stops dead for a minute to rehash old information, and Harrison Ford, who couldn't know where to look, talks at but not with what's supposed to be a more-than-12-foot-tall space slug.

4. All the friendly ghosts waving bye ("Jedi"). Obi-Wan, Yoda and an unmasked Darth Vader-Anakin Skywalker return in ethereal form to give Luke a little "nice work, lad." Death be not proud? There's sure no pride here.

How does an ethereal being sit down on a corporeal log?

3. Ewoks ("Jedi"). Ee-yeww. A bunch of teddy bears with rocks and arrows defeat highly feared, highly armed Imperial storm troopers? Let me go in there with one Tec-9 ...

2. Three words: Jar Jar Binks ("Phantom"). "Meea yo humba suhvent!" Echoing the Nazis at Nuremberg, as "Star Wars" does in that first film's closing medal ceremony, is dubious enough. But echoing Stepin Fetchit? Maybe Jar Jar and Shrek's pal Donkey should get together and share notes.

1. Greedo shoots first ("Star Wars: Special Edition," 1997). With Stalin-like historical revisionism, George Lucas obliterated an early moment that established Han Solo's antiheroic streak (see Coolest Moment No. 4) and reverted to the hoary cliche of "the good guy never fires first." The 20th-anniversary re-release was changed so that bounty hunter Greedo shoots first — and misses at point-blank range. Greedo's entry in the official "Star Wars" Web site also specifically erases history. For shame.