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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Friday, November 4, 2005

Untidy girl annoying to coworkers

By Tara Solomon

DEAR ADVICE DIVA:

My co-worker always looks so sloppy. I don't understand how she gets away with it. She comes in wearing jeans and rumpled shirts while everyone else is expected to look nice. I think she's got something going with the boss.

How do I bring this up? I work in a small office and everyone knows everything.

— Miss Blackwell

DEAR MISS BLACKWELL:

Not sure if your motivation in reprimanding Sloppy Girl lies in the reprimand itself, or if you and the other co-workers want to dress down, too, but if indeed everyone knows everything, why not put an unsigned letter on your boss' desk requesting fair treatment: Either Sloppy Girl irons her clothes and wears a proper skirt or pair of pants, or everyone in the office is allowed to wear jeans.

Your boss will get the message and, hanky-panky or not, you should see change, one way or the other, soon enough.

FIRST DATE

TURN-ONS:

1. When the guy makes a definitive plan of where to go and what to do.

2. When he's obviously taken the time to choose his outfit, attempt to look good and make a good first impression.

3. When he lets me know that I'll hear from him or see him again — and doesn't leave me wondering whether or not he liked me enough for a second date.

TURN-OFFS:

1. Overtly sexual talk. Not that I'm a prude, but to me, a first date is getting to know someone just enough to see if you want a second date. When sex is a big topic of conversation, it makes me think that he's just out to find a bed buddy, not a girlfriend.

2. When he won't commit to a lunch or dinner and merely wants to meet for coffee. I'm not into drive-by dates. If we've communicated well thus far, the least we can do is share a meal.

3. Cheapness, bad behavior or rudeness to me or to restaurant/service staff.

— Single Lizz, Miami

The Advice Diva welcomes your questions. Write her at advicediva@herald.com.