honoluluadvertiser.com

Sponsored by:

Comment, blog & share photos

Log in | Become a member
The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Thursday, November 17, 2005

A good guest is in sync with host

By Debra O'Connor
Knight Ridder News Service

Larry Pfarr, director of store design and visual merchandising at Bachman's floral, home and garden stores in Minneapolis, has advised people about how to throw a great party; now, in time for the holidays, here's his advice on how to be a good guest.

Q. What should you offer to bring?

A. As a guest, you should always ask the host if you could bring something to the dinner, party or event. Let the host determine if he or she wants you to bring something and what it should be. Most often, the host will decline your offer, but you should be prepared.

Once you have asked and if you were told what to bring, then make sure you bring what you were told. On more than one occasion, I have asked someone to bring something and they decided to bring something else. Two desserts or two salads is not the worst thing that can happen, but it does throw hosts a curveball.

Q. What should you bring without asking?

A. If you checked in with your host and were told you don't need to bring anything, don't think you should show up empty-handed. If someone has invited you into their home, they have gone to great lengths to have you there. Planning the menu, cleaning the house and getting it all pulled together takes a lot of effort — be sure to show your gratitude.

Flowers or a nice blooming plant are always an appropriate gift. A bottle of wine for an evening event is appropriate, too, if your host drinks alcohol.

Other possible host gifts include a nice unscented candle or a box of chocolates.

Q. What should you not bring?

A. If you have children and they were not invited, don't assume you can bring them. If you are not sure whether you can bring your children, check with your host.

Unless it is a large party, event or open house, you should not bring additional guests with you. The exception would be if you are single and the invitation reads "and guest."

Q. What's a common faux pas that guests make?

A. One of the biggest mistakes is to forget to acknowledge the invitation. If you are asked to RSVP, then by all means, make sure that you do and that you do it promptly. Never make a host extend a second invitation because they didn't hear back from you the first time.

Q. How can you be a good guest while at the party?

A. Unless the party is being catered, the guest should check with the host to see if there is anything they may need help with. Often, the host may have some small task. If the host says no, or you are done with the assigned task, then get out of the kitchen and mingle.