Doomsday prophesies rooted in the proliferation of daycare and disposable diapers apparently have lost their punch, so society has a new guilt-inducing weapon to wield against mothers. It's called "elimination communication" — teaching babies to poop on command before they can even walk or talk.

This is really a two-fer for those who perpetuate guilty-mom syndrome, since the training regimen works best if you're a stay-at-home parent. So you can feel bad not only about the fact that your baby is not adequately toilet-trained, but that it's all because you have a job.

Now, there are some really important things that merit guilt-tripping of new moms: breastfeeding (good) and smoking (bad), for example. Let's take a quick look at breastfeeding: Studies show kids are healthier and smarter if they are nourished in the way God intended. Talk about intelligent design.

What new moms also should know is that it hurts like hell for the first week. You will want to cry every time the poppet latches on, and you will feel guilty because you are not enthralled by what all the books insist is a wonderful bonding experience.

Stick with it for as long as you can. It truly is a wonderful and wildly convenient way to erase the guilt that's gnawing at you because you can't spend more time with your baby.

Other tips to minimize guilty living for new moms include lowering your housekeeping standards. Accept that your home will never be as clean and organized as it was before you had kids. Spend any snippets of free time having fun with your children or taking naps.

Also, resist the temptation to buy those too-cute Nike baby shoes and all that other unnecessary crap to keep up with the other babies in the playgroup. Invest in a good stroller, car seat and carrier, and bank the rest of your money for something really worthwhile such as a college fund or a midlife breast lift. After all that breastfeeding, you'll need it.

The best advice I ever got on baby-rearing came from sage pediatrician T. Berry Brazelton, who said infants sometimes just need to blow off steam. Babies live a confining existence, and because they are babies, they can't take it out at the gym, so they cry. Nonstop. Sometimes for an hour or longer. Don't take it personally. Unless they're sick, dirty or hungry, there's nothing you can do except stand clear and wait for the storm to pass.

This is good to remember later when they're teenagers and are prone to regress to an infantlike state: Sometimes you just can't make them happy. Stand clear and let 'em blow. And remember, this, too, shall pass.

Reach Christie Wilson at cwilson@honoluluadvertiser.com.