Today is a day for giving thanks across the land — even in the world of sports, where you might be surprised at just how much there is to be grateful for.

So, step back from the TV for a moment, hoist a drumstick and give thanks that you:

Aren't Sports Illustrated reporter Michael Bamberger within range of Michelle Wie's backswing.

Don't cramp up under pressure in the Stan Sheriff Center.

Don't have a daughter who is a Carolina Panthers cheerleader.

Won't be behind the Wisconsin Badgers' offensive line in a hotel buffet line today.

Aren't Steve Young's son if Phil Simms ever broadcasts your game.

Didn't buy the Onterrio Smith model Whizzinator.

Weren't the one who approved the purchase of those UH football road uniforms this year.

Weren't the one who had to stitch up the 11th-hour replacements for said uniforms.

Aren't the real estate agent trying to sell Jayson Williams' house right now.

Weren't promoting family cruises with the Minnesota Vikings.

Aren't a travel agent trying to get Tom Izzo back to Hawai'i anytime soon.

Don't have Terrell Owens in a fantasy football league.

Aren't Phillip Fulmer in Tennessee right now.

Don't have to use Saints owner Tom Benson's name for a reference in New Orleans.

Don't have to cover Davone Bess one-on-one.

Aren't the NBA official who has to enforce the league dress code on Ron Artest.

Aren't on Ugueth Urbina's bad side.

Aren't standing across from Colt Brennan in a UH huddle when the subject is his breakfast.

Don't have to go over the middle for a pass against Lono Manners.

Aren't the NCAA Tournament selection committee member who takes Dave Shoji's call if the Rainbow Wahine get sent to the boonies again.

Aren't Josh Paul or Doug Eddings with all winter to think about a ball in the dirt.

Don't have to take Kenny Rogers' Christmas picture.

Didn't just put your future in agent Drew Rosenhaus' hands.

Don't have Kurt Busch giving your kid driver ed.

Got rid of that Pat Hill look-alike mustache.

Aren't the person who has to tell UH season ticket holders next time premium seat fees go up.

Don't have Isiah Thomas doing the hiring — and firing — at your job.

Didn't tell any secrets to Rafael Palmeiro.

Reach Ferd Lewis at flewis@honoluluadvertiser.com or 525-8044.