Dear Advice Diva:

May I offer a different perspective on the "Shy Guy" in reader Sundaze's letter? He may not really be shy — or have trust issues. It may simply be that he has never learned how to carry on a conversation.

Does Sundaze always talk about what she's interested in, or things he's interested in? It's hard to discuss something you know nothing about (or have no interest in learning about). And if he is without the skills to turn it into a conversation — for example, how to ask questions to keep conversation going — his side seems dry and quiet.

There's no guarantee, but most shy guys are hard to shut up once you find topics they're interested in. Let's hope, she'll find that some are things she's interested in also.

And let's remember, guys don't talk about their feelings! We don't generally open up.

— Conversing (or Not) From Experience

Dear Conversing:

Finding a common point of interest in conversation is not only a good tactic, but also the thoughtful thing to do. And as for guys not opening up, well, we'd say that's debatable. Thanks for sharing!

FIRST DATE

TURN-ONS:

1. Interesting, pleasant and thought-provoking conversation. There is nothing hotter than a man who can speak intelligently, as well as listen when he is being spoken to.

2. Opening the car door for me. That is so gentlemanly and respectful.

3. Walking me to my door and giving me a cute little kiss on the cheek.

TURN-OFFS:

1. Talking loudly. You know the type — they want everybody to hear their conversation because they think what they do or how they live their lives is so superior they want the entire world to know.

2. Profanity. A sure sign of ignorance, intelligence deficiency and is just plain rude.

3. Groping me at the front door, not to mention trying to strangle me with his tongue at the same time.

— Bonnie Hicks, Miami