honoluluadvertiser.com

Sponsored by:

Comment, blog & share photos

Log in | Become a member
The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Friday, October 28, 2005

Stop gossip before it gets nasty

By Tara Solomon

Dear Advice Diva:

What advice do you have for someone who is a malicious gossip but tries to pretend that she is just "concerned" about a situation? An example: "Jen" — a friend I have grown up with and speak to almost every day — is forever dissing others, be it her co-workers, relatives or movie stars. It always starts out innocently, with her "factually" relaying a recent happening. But it soon gets nasty and it's really turning me off. I never noticed this about her before, or maybe it's never bothered me as much. What can I say that won't make her chew me up, too?

—Speechless in Margate, N.J.

Dear Speechless:

You have two choices here: Either sever the relationship (in which case Ms. Evil Tongue will not only badmouth you to everyone willing to listen, but she'll probably start a blog, too) or set boundaries. You don't like it when gossip gets nasty, so distract her — change the subject or be bold enough to assert, "Jen, this is the point when I want to hurl; can we please talk about something less spiteful, like the new Manet exhibit?"

That is, if you wish to keep the relationship. Ask yourself: Is my time worth listening to malicious gossip? Ultimately, it's your choice.

DIVA'S MAILBAG

Dear Advice Diva:

I must begin a low-sodium diet, and remember you mentioned a seaweed and ginger condiment.

Would you kindly give me the name of it?

—Salty Gal

Dear Salty Gal:

We are addicted to Sea Seasonings' Nori Granules with Ginger, a "low-sodium salt alternative" that contains 8 milligrams of sodium per teaspoon. It's produced by Maine Coast Sea Vegetables in Franklin, Maine, and is so natural: Only toasted nori granules with ginger powder. We sprinkle it on brown rice, salads, omelets, fish, turkey sandwiches and, during our dirty-secret, pig-out moments, pizza, eggplant parm and cream-cheese-stuffed celery. It's available online. Google it.

The Advice Diva welcomes your questions. Write her at advicediva@herald.com.