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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Sunday, September 4, 2005

At-work friendship shifts to off-hours romance

By Catherine E. Toth
Advertiser Staff Writer

Anson Sugimoto and Stacie Sato connected easily from the start.

Photo by William Renio

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Stacie Sato and Anson Sugimoto never really had a first date.

The two, who worked as servers at Ivy's at the Shore Bird in Waikiki, would just hang out after work or play cards during their breaks.

It wasn't until the restaurant shut down — a few days after the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks — that their at-work friendship shifted into off-hours romance.

They both took part-time jobs at another restaurant, the Shore Bird Beach Broiler, working the early shift. Since they both lived in the Ala Moana area, they decided to carpool together. On the drive they'd talk about everything, from her recent breakup to his recent date. They even discussed what kind of wedding they'd want.

"We would just talk all the time," said Sato, 28, who now works with special-needs children at the Institute for Family Enrichment. "We got to know each other really well from that."

These conversations were what sparked an interest in Sugimoto, who felt he could tell Sato anything.

"I liked her supportiveness and the way she listened to me," said Sugimoto, 28, a care coordinator at HMSA's Community Care Services. "That's what first attracted me."

Sato realized her feelings started to change, too, when she asked her best friend to meet Sugimoto and tell her what she thought of him. They all met for drinks at the Royal Hawaiian Hotel — and Sato's friend gave her the thumbs up.

"I knew I liked him already," Sato said, smiling. "And I figured he liked me, too."

But that night still wasn't their official one-on-one outing. That didn't happen until weeks later, when the couple had dinner at Sam Choy's Breakfast Lunch & Crab. Sato's attempt to eat crab properly failed miserably, and she wound up flinging crab meat at Sugimoto.

"We don't have a full-on romantic story," Sato said, laughing.

But something was there. Just two months later the couple moved into a one-bedroom apartment on Young Street together.

Living together before getting married was important to Sato and Sugimoto, who both came from divorced households.

"It was one of my rules," said Sugimoto, who grew up in Torrance, Calif. "I had a hard time with the marriage thing. I wanted to be sure and not add to the divorce rate."

Cohabiting has been revealing: he irons everything except for boxers and socks; she's highly accident-prone.

"She trips over her own shadow," joked Sugimoto.

A year ago the couple started looking at engagement rings. They both knew getting married was the next step, they just didn't know when.

"I knew one day we'd get marred," Sato said. "And I didn't want to pressure him."

But she couldn't stop herself. The more she asked him about it, the more he resisted.

"I kept telling her, 'The more you ask, the longer you'll wait,' " Sugimoto said.

On Valentine's Day 2004, Sugimoto took Sato to Kaka'ako Waterfront Park, a ring tucked in his pocket. But it wasn't the ring Sato was anticipating. Instead, he slipped on her finger an open-heart ring from Tiffany & Co. For a split second, she thought he was going to propose.

But no, he waited another two months — on her birthday in April — to pop the question.

They went to dinner at John Dominis, her favorite restaurant, then for the same walk at Kaka'ako Waterfront Park. This time the ring he had stashed in his pocket was an engagement one.

"I knew I was going to ask her (to marry me) six months earlier," Sugimoto confessed.

Ironically, this time around Sato was clueless. She knew he was planning something special, but she figured he had bought her a puppy, not an engagement ring.

"I had the whole thing set up in my head that I was getting a dog," she said, laughing. "I was shocked."

The couple got married on May 14 at the Kahala Mandarin Oriental Hawaii in front of 250 guests. The ceremony was right on the ocean, just the way they had described to each other three years earlier when they were just friends.

Their wedding was only one of three times in Sugimoto's life that he got choked up.

"I was watching her walk down the aisle and my eyes were so blurry," he said.

Not much has changed with them now that they're married. They still go to the movies and shop at Sam's Club. But there's a deeper connection now that they share the same last name.

"There's a different respect that comes from being married," Sugimoto said. "Definitely more responsibility comes with it, more courtesies."

But no puppies just yet.

Reach Catherine E. Toth at ctoth@honoluluadvertiser.com.