honoluluadvertiser.com

Sponsored by:

Comment, blog & share photos

Log in | Become a member
The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Thursday, September 29, 2005

How to get spouse to donate to charity?

By Michelle Singletary

WASHINGTON — During my regular online discussions at www.washingtonpost.com, I received many questions that I didn't have time to answer. Here are a few that are timely:

Q. I'm sick of my husband's lack of interest in charitable giving. My frustration has come to a head after Hurricane Katrina. His net worth is over $1 million, albeit with a low cash flow this year. My mother raised eight of us on a nurse's salary and was always on the lookout to help someone in need. His parents, solidly middle class and raising two children with no loss of paycheck, always seemed to need to calculate why they would even give to the church that they only sparsely attended. How do I not get angry at my husband for not being generous of spirit in this time?

A. Your husband would do well to follow what Winston Churchill said: "We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."

It would be easy to dismiss his lack of generosity as miserly. Instead be generous with your understanding. Talk it out. Perhaps his childhood wasn't as financially secure as you think. Maybe he's scared that the money won't be there when your family needs it. Agree to cut unnecessary expenses if donating is important to you. Remind him that your donations can be tax-deductible.

If you really are married to a miser who says idiotic things such as "people need to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps," then at least try to get him to devote a mutually agreed upon amount of money from your family budget every year for charitable giving. You can decide how it is donated.

And pass along this Punjabi proverb: "When a sparrow sips in the river, the water doesn't recede. Giving charity does not deplete wealth."

Q. I have two credit cards — one that carries a balance of $2,000 with a 13 percent fixed rate and another that has a balance of $8,000 with a 2.9 percent fixed rate. Should I transfer the balances of both to one card that has a special offer of zero percent interest until August 2006? I've never made a late payment, but I'm guessing my credit score isn't so great because of my high debt. Will switching to a new card and canceling my two cards (or just one of them) hurt my credit rating/score?

A. First, stop guessing about your credit score. Find out. If you're going to be applying for major credit — to buy a house, for example — then get all three of your scores. It will cost you about $45. Go to www.my fico.com. If you just want a general idea of your creditworthiness, then get just one score from any one of the three major credit bureaus.

As far as transferring all your debt to one card, there's a plus and minus to this strategy. The minus: Piling up debt on one card can hurt your score if your balance amounts to more than 50 percent of the available credit limit on the new card. The plus: If you're not going to apply for new credit any time soon, you save money by getting rid of the 13 percent and 2.9 percent finance rates. That may be worth a temporary ding to your score. Another caution: Don't cancel the two cards if you've had them for a long time. One of the major factors contributing to a good score is having a long history with a creditor.