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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Saturday, April 1, 2006

We're not fooling around

By Ferd Lewis
Advertiser Columnist

A few of the sports items that you're likely to only read about in today's newspaper:

U.S. Olympic Committee announces swim trials to be held in the Ala Wai Canal.

Brian Viloria announces boxing retirement, says he'll enter sumo.

Upon his release from prison, BALCO founder Victor Conte reveals he gave steroids to Bud Selig.

Detroit Lions tell fans the price of NFL playoff tickets will be included in season ticket package.

Michelle Wie quits golf to devote attention full time to designing earrings.

Joe Moore to host "The June Jones Show" on KHON-TV this football season.

Barry Bonds to replace Paula Abdul on American Idol panel.

Billy Packer and Jim Nantz to receive honorary degrees at George Mason and Wichita State.

After season record for rainouts, Mike Trapasso proposes dome for Les Murakami Stadium.

Sportscaster Bobby Curran announces he is leaving KKEA to pursue lifelong dream job of calling NASCAR races on the radio.

Texas reveals Vince Young had 1,600 on his SAT test.

Aloha Stadium bids for Super Bowl.

Johnny Damon begs for trade back to Boston Red Sox.

Isiah Thomas to be named NBA Executive of the Year.

UH announces it will roll back prices on its football season tickets this season but implement premium seating for water polo.

National Hockey League grants franchise to Honolulu.

NCAA to examine new selection formula for men's basketball tournament based equally on a school's graduation rate and win/loss record.

Al Davis named to succeed Paul Tagliabue as NFL commissioner.

Minnesota Vikings announce plans to open up future team cruises to fans and their families.

Florida Marlins manager Joe Girardi grows a beard.

Oswald the Rabbit rejects trade for Al Michaels.

Terrell Owens named Philadelphia's Man of the Year.

Little League World Series to drug test participants this year.

Morgan Pressel gets sponsorship deal with Kleenex.

NFL to hold open tryouts in league cities to determine next Super Bowl officiating crew.

The Sheraton Hawai'i Bowl extends an invitation to Notre Dame to play in this year's game.

George Steinbrenner demands to host next World Baseball Classic at Yankee Stadium.

Fresno State to hold "Screwdriver Night" promotion for its Oct. 14 football game with UH.

Iditarod considers satellite event on Mauna Kea.

Chris Botez seeks post-basketball career as a jockey.

Reach Ferd Lewis at flewis@honoluluadvertiser.com or 525-8044.