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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Sunday, April 23, 2006

Take 2 for groom: 'So, you gonna marry me or what?'

By Catherine E. Toth
Advertiser Staff Writer

James Hovey proposed twice to marry Gwyn Gauger — first, in Wisconsin, and two years later at Laniakea Beach. They wed Oct. 1.

Photo by David Murphey

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Gwyn Gauger and James Hovey should have met months before they actually did.

After living in Bend, Ore., for a year — in the same town where Hovey had lived for two years — Gauger moved back to her home state, Wisconsin.

She enrolled in the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire in Hovey's hometown. He had returned several years earlier after a shoulder injury ended his baseball career with the Colorado Rockies.

They knew all the same people, had all the same haunts. Gauger even bowled in the same league as Hovey's mother.

"I met his mom before I met him," laughed Gauger, 35, a school counselor with Waipahu Complex schools. "It's so weird that I didn't run into him sooner."

While she was finishing up her master's degree in school psychology in 1999, Gauger worked as a bartender in a local watering hole.

One day Hovey and his buddies walked in and sat at the bar. In an intoxicated state, Gauger said, "he decided I was the most beautiful thing in the world. I told him he was crazy."

But Hovey continued to come back to the bar, professing his adoration, now sober. They would play cards during the slow hours and he'd help her stock the coolers and move heavy boxes.

"He eventually won me over," Gauger said, smiling.

They dated for about five weeks before Gauger delivered the bad news: She had accepted a counseling job in Oregon.

Hovey took it well, promising to visit her.

That Christmas, Gauger packed up whatever could fit in her car and drove to Oregon.

By the end of January, Hovey packed up a U-Haul, loaded his furniture and, along with his chocolate Lab, Ozzy, headed to Oregon, too.

"I always wanted to get out of there," said Hovey, 34, a supervisor with Steve's Gardening Service Inc. in Mililani. "I've always wanted (to do something) bigger."

It was a leap of faith, they both acknowledged, especially considering they had only dated for about two months. But it worked.

"We're both fairly impulsive by nature," Gauger said. "That's why we just clicked."

The couple lived in Lakeview, Ore., population less than 2,500. The nearest Wal-Mart and McDonald's were 90 miles away.

"It was really the frontier," Hovey said.

After a few months of living together, Hovey decided to pop the question at Gauger's family cottage in Door Country, Wis.

"It was on the beach, at sunset, on bended knee — the whole romantic thing," Gauger said. "I didn't see it coming."

A year later, the spontaneous couple decided they needed another change of scenery. Gauger got a job as a school counselor at an elementary school in Fort Collins, Colo. Hovey picked up a job in landscaping.

But just a year after moving to Colorado, they called off the engagement and split up.

"We both knew that eventually we wanted the same thing," Gauger said. "But it was all still so new."

For the next two years, they dated other people but remained close friends.

"It was amiable, mutual, comfortable," Gauger said.

Then in April 2003 Gauger's Siamese cat, Rubin, died. She immediately called Hovey.

"I called him because I knew he would understand more than anyone else," Gauger said.

Hovey picked her up and they buried the cat in the Rocky Mountains.

That experience brought them closer — and eventually back together.

"He couldn't handle things without me, and I couldn't live without him," Gauger said, smiling.

But the engagement wasn't back on.

In the summer of 2004, Gauger quit her job and pursued one in New Zealand. But she had also put in an application for a counselor position on O'ahu.

In December, Gauger got an offer from the Hawai'i Department of Education. Instead of waiting to hear back from the school in New Zealand, she seized the opportunity to move to Hawai'i, where neither had even visited.

"That was really impulsive," Gauger admitted.

In February 2005, just two months after moving, Hovey proposed again at Laniakea Beach — but it wasn't nearly as romantic as the first time.

"He just looked at me and said, 'So, you gonna marry me or what?' " Gauger said, laughing.

The couple was married on Oct. 1 at Waimea Valley Adventure Park in front about about 50 guests. The reception was at the Proud Peacock restaurant.

Together for about seven years, Gauger and Hovey, who now live in Makakilo, don't think their relationship has changed much now that they're married. Well, except for one thing.

They're expecting their first child in October.

Though Gauger's pregnancy so far hasn't been the easiest — there are some smells she just can't stand — the couple is happy to be starting yet another exciting chapter together.

"We wanted the same things. It just took us a long time to get to this place," Gauger said. "We don't care where we live or how much money we make, as long as we're together."

Reach Catherine E. Toth at ctoth@honoluluadvertiser.com.