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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Monday, December 11, 2006

Holiday etiquette in the office

By Andrea Kay

No matter how much you dislike your co-worker, this is not the time of year to show your displeasure through inappropriate gift-giving. Need clues on what bad gifts might be? Voodoo doll. Tin of burnt cookies. Used makeup. Used cookbook with food stains on it.

Yes, people have actually sent these to folks they work with, according to a recent survey conducted by CareerBuilder.com and ShopLocal.

This is, instead, a good time of year to show your appreciation, build a relationship, even mend fences with co-workers. Thirty-five percent of workers say they will buy something for their associates.

But if you have a different message to send, giving bad gifts like these and others cited — underwear, a bottle of vodka for a recovering alcoholic and a package of over-the-counter medicines — is not the way to deliver it. If you don't have something nice to give, don't give anything at all.

Nearly three in 10 workers also plan to give a gift to their boss, with five percent feeling obligated — most of those being women employees and workers who make less than $50,000. The study found that the more you make, the less likely you are to spend it on your boss.

If you're racking your brain for what would be an appropriate present for a boss or co-worker, a gift certificate to a store or restaurant is always a safe bet. But a gift certificate to a strip club — something one worker said he'd received — is a no-no. Food baskets and charitable donations in your co-worker's or boss's name are very tasteful and thoughtful.

Do not wander into the religious-themed minefield either. Another gift that someone said they got and didn't appreciate was a "What Would Jesus Do?" bracelet.

With so many workers in remote locations these days, you may not even be getting together with your fellow workers. Office holiday parties seem to be on the decline and even if the company is holding one, nearly half of workers say they don't feel obligated to attend, says a Spherion survey.

But if your company holds such an affair, be cautious about decorations and don't hang mistletoe. At the risk of sounding like Scrooge, attorney James F. Hendricks of Fisher & Phillips in Chicago, says, "Inevitably, someone who has had too much alcohol will insist on a little kiss from a non-spouse or date. That's when things turn ugly."

The same goes for hanging mistletoe in the office. "The purpose of hanging mistletoe is to have people kiss under it. If an employer allows that on company premises they deserve the resulting sexual harassment charge that is sure to follow," says Hendricks.

Paul Calico, attorney with Strauss & Troy in Cincinnati, agrees, saying that that sprig of mistletoe coupled with "Christmas spirits and 'come on, everybody's kissing Bob,' could result in a claim that an employee was coerced into kissing someone."

Be sure to clearly announce that the party is voluntary. Also limit the time in which alcohol is served and the amount of consumption, says Hendricks. "In our litigious society, someone is going to look at the employer for anything bad that arose as a result of the party."

If all this talk about appropriate gift giving and office party guidelines seems to take the fun out of the season, beyond the legal issues, it's a matter of common sense and good will to all. After all, 'tis the season to be jolly — not sorry.