Ever have the feeling your life isn't going quite as planned? With resolution season coming up, here's a solution: "Lose Weight! Get Laid! Find God: The All-in-One Life Planner from Benrik" by Ben Carey and Henrik Delehag (Plum, $16). The witty book's worksheets help identify what you need to do now — and laugh at life. Age 12? Time to "wrestle with your hormones." If you're 27, the book's yes-no checklist will help you figure out the difference between "the one" and the "no-way." Turned 56? Get plastic surgery! Photos — perfect tush, thighs — are your nip/tuck guide.

— Wanda Adams

SEASONS GREETINGS

Who says Hawai'i has no seasons? Dorothy Laranio of Mo'ili'ili hates it when people say that. A few years ago she shared her four-season ideas with Grant Kagimoto of Cane Haul Road. The idea incubated in his sketchbook until now. His new Local Seasons T-shirt stars mango, 'oama, obon and termites. Available at Mango Season, 2636 S. King St., and Wabi-Sabi, 1223 Koko Head Ave., for $16.

— Paula Rath

FINAL WORD

"Anything by Judy Blume. You know 'Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret'? I'd like to be Margaret."

Will Ferrell | when asked if there's a book he wishes he could be a character in, in New York magazine