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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Sunday, December 17, 2006

Eating is a delicate issue in Korean culture

By Jeff Chung

The new Korean drama "Lover" starts tomorrow on KBFD.

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You may have noticed that Korean dramas constantly have scenes of families eating together.

Everyone in the family may be busy with their daily lives, but meals remain the one time of the day that the whole family gets together. From a production point of view, dining scenes are easy shots, because lighting and indoor filming is in a controlled environment. But there is a cultural side to eating that has intrigued me since childhood.

After greeting each other with "hello," Koreans often follow up with a question such as "Have you eaten?" You wouldn't say this to someone you just met; it's an exchange only between people who know each other.

I wondered why Korean people were so interested in whether the other person ate or not. There are two ways to say "family" in Korean: shik-gu and ga-jok. Shik-gu literally translates to: eat (shik) mouth (gu), or mouths to feed. Shik-gu is a term that can refer to family or a team of people, whereas ga-jok is used specifically for people related by blood or marriage.

I was having some hard-boiled eggs at the office one day when a Korean man I am acquainted with walked into my office. Having learned the proper Korean protocol, I offered him some eggs. He declined but stood there looking at me in an odd way. I went on finishing my egg when, after a long pause, my visitor said to me, "It's Korean style to offer at least three times." It was then that I realized eating is a delicate issue and an important part of Korean culture. I offered him the boiled egg again and he accepted.

Sharing food is an important part of the culture, and refusing to eat can be considered rude.

Long ago in Korea, the head of the household ate first. For example, the children could not eat until the father had his first pick at the main dish, such as fish. In some families, women and men ate at separate tables, or adults would eat separately from children.

In dramas, you will often see angry adults refusing to eat because they are so disappointed with their children. And in other cases, children will abruptly leave the dining table in defiance. The act of starvation or leaving the table is the person's way of showing disrespect or the intensity of their anger toward the family.

In the U.S., American TV programs often portray parents sending their kids to their rooms, depriving the child of the meal as punishment. In Korea, if a family member misses or skips a meal, the whole household is turned upside down. Let's say the head of the family refuses to eat: The whole family sometimes has to go hungry, as elders are always to eat first.

Jeff Chung is general manager of KBFD, which televises Korean dramas. If you have a K-drama question or comment, reach him at 521-8066 or jeffchung@kbfd.com.

THIS WEEK'S K-DRAMA SYNOPSES

'INFAMOUS CHILL SISTERS'

EPISODES 45 AND 46

Tonight at 7: Seol-chil runs to the hospital after a confrontation with Mi-chil. However, Yang-pal is still in a coma. Il-han tells Ha-nam that Seol-chil returned to her family. Tae-ja receives a draft notice.

Tonight at 8: Ha-nam denies that he hasn't eaten for three days. Seol-chil runs into Yang-pal on her way to meet Ha-nam, and Yang-pal notices something is going on. Deok-chil picks up Mira from school.

'LOVER'

EPISODES 1 AND 2

Tomorrow at 7:50 p.m.: Yang-geum sets Mi-ju up on a blind date with her son Sae-yeon. But reluctant Sae-yeon sends his friend to meet Mi-ju and watches as Mi-ju pours her wine on his friend, irritated by his arrogance. Her honesty attracts Sae-yeon.

Tuesday at 7:50 p.m.: Mi-ju finds Kang-jae standing in front of her door. She's shocked to find out that he's her neighbor Yu-jin's boyfriend. Yu-jin demands that Kang-jae marry her or end the relationship. To Mi-ju's surprise, Kang-jae is the person who wants to buy her land.

'LOVE & AMBITION'

EPISODES 73 AND 74

Wednesday at 7:50 p.m.: Mother and Aunt Paju go to their hometown to visit father's grave and reminisce about the old days. Hoon comes home to tell Eun-hwan he got his girlfriend pregnant. The family is devastated by a sudden death.

Thursday at 7:50 p.m.: Mi-ja's self-loathing about her drinking problem reaches new heights. Hae-joo has a serious talk with Mi-ja about drinking. Eun-hwan is surprised by Hoon's girlfriend Hyun-jung's unannounced visit, and is disappointed by her rudeness.

'GREEN ROSE'

EPISODES 9 AND 10

Friday at 7:50 p.m.: Expecting a big present, the three are taken by Master Jin's bodyguards. However Jung-hyun fools the bodyguards and loses them. But Jung-hyun still kneels down to Master Jin in defeat.

Saturday at 7:50 p.m.: Hyun-tae is shocked to meet Joong-won, who bears a striking resemblance to Jung-hyun. Hyun-tae waits hours to meet Joong-won, who's become a powerful businessman in China. Joong-won gladly accepts Hyun-tae's invitation to visit his company.