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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Monday, December 18, 2006

Holidays add to strain of domestic violence

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HOW TO HELP

Call Child & Family Service, 543-8413. Or, bring donations to the offices at 200 N. Vineyard Blvd. or 91-1841 Fort Weaver Road, 'Ewa Beach.

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The holidays are a challenging time for most people, but those in distress feel the tension most acutely. Among them: victims of domestic violence.

Family finances are thinnest at this time, and emotions run high. So it's a common experience in communities nationwide that incidents of abuse peak as Christmas approaches.

Regardless of the head count at shelters in any given year, it's a dismal time to be there. From the standpoint of personal safety, it's better to be removed from an abusive relationship. Victims, who may feel pressured to remain with the abuser for the family's sake, often must be coaxed into leaving.

But even if those fleeing violence now feel safer physically, they feel battered emotionally. Who wants to be in a strange place at the holidays? It's the season for happy memories and reunions rather than upheaval and isolation.

Most of us feel powerless to rescue people in such difficult personal circumstances, but we can make them feel a bit more comfortable, at least.

Hawai'i's domestic violence shelters always need replenishment of the supplies they offer to the families they accommodate, and often these supplies are at a particularly low ebb during November and December. Shelters run short of diapers, formula, clothing, toiletries and many other items that are essential to comfort but very pricey for a family under financial strain.

The rest of us in the community can cushion their rough landing with our donations. Few expressions of the holiday spirit will be more appreciated.