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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Sunday, February 19, 2006

Mainland-style answer for drivers who 'cut'

By Ka'ohua Lucas

"That's inappropriate behavior," my daughter said, giving her brother a sisterly nudge.

Our daughter has been on the Mainland for the past four years attending college.

She recently accepted a position at the University of Hawai'i-Manoa and hopped the next plane home.

Our daughter has always been the type of person who is never afraid to speak her mind.

She still is that way.

But since she's been away from the Islands, her local dialect has deteriorated.

The change was apparent on a recent Saturday, when we were celebrating my birthday.

Dad decided to take all of us out to dinner.

We crammed into the Dodge Durango and glided down the hill, out of the valley and onto the freeway.

I happened to be driving in the far right lane.

Cars were beginning to slow down as others ahead merged onto the freeway.

Freeway protocol is a lot like preschoolers preparing for lunch. Keiki are reminded to line up one behind the other to "take turns" washing hands. They are asked to keep all body parts to themselves and to be respectful of their neighbor's space.

On occasion, a "rogue" child decides he is far too hungry to wait his turn and steps to the front of the line. His classmates are quick to point out that he's "cutting."

Sometimes a shoving match ensues and name calling occurs.

The rogue child is either booted out of line by his schoolmates or he prevails and ends up in front.

No one likes a cutter.

Well, that Saturday — my birthday — the driver of a rogue Ford F-250 decided that she did not want to wait her turn and attempted to cut me off.

She sidled up alongside my Durango until she was just inches away from my car.

Following proper freeway etiquette, I had already allowed one car to merge into my lane in front of me without incident. But the rogue 250 decided she wanted in as well.

Gunning the engine, she maneuvered her monster truck into my lane, forcing me to drop back.

I muttered something unintelligible under my breath and rested on my horn to show my frustration.

My daughter, who was equally irritated, made a not-so-tita-like remark, "I would like to throttle that girl!"

The four of us weren't too sure how to react.

In fact, we were surprised by her choice of words.

"Where did you get that from?" my eldest son asked his sister.

"You've been living on the Mainland far too long," Dad said. "The proper statement would be 'I like choke her,' or alternatively 'What, you like beef?' "

"But, Dad, throttling should be sufficient!" she said.

Reach Ka'ohua Lucas at Family Matters, 'Ohana section, The Advertiser, P.O. Box 3110, Hono-lulu, HI 96802; fax 525-8055.