Dear Advice Diva:

I'm all stressed over a weekend trip I'm taking with a group of friends in early February. We're going to some island (not my choice) where I will be expected to wear a swimsuit.

Unfortunately, there is not enough time to lose the 25 pounds I would need to lose to not look like a beached whale. Also, a guy I like will be going with us and I know he will be totally disgusted (I would be).

Please help!

—Big Girl

Dear Big Girl:

Love thyself, and the world will follow. And if it doesn't, so what? If you want to tone up in the month you have, do it by eating healthy mini-portions and exercise. Self-hate is diet sabotage, so treat yourself kindly. Celebrate with a new suit and sarong, get a spray tan (you'll look thinner) and pack your bag. Rely on your wit, not your physique, to shine; it's far less stressful.

FIRST DATE

TURN-ONS:

1. Manners. If they're good, he scores major points with me.

2. Smelling good. It demonstrates that he took that extra little step — and bathed, too!

3. I once had a date with a guy and I wasn't sure of the dress code of the place we were going. The night before, without prompting, he called and casually mentioned what he was wearing. That made things very easy for me. I loved that!

TURN-OFFS:

1. Getting hammered during dinner. If the first part of the first date is dinner, and he gets wasted, then watch out! That puts me on guard the rest of the night and shows not only a lack of manners, but of self-control.

2. That wishy-washy exchange: "What do you want to do?" "I don't know, what do YOU want to do?" "Well, whatever you want to do is fine with me." "Oh, well, did you have anything in mind?" Etc. If a guy is asking a girl out, he can ask for input, but please, don't be wishy-washy!

—A.S., St. Paul, Minn.

The Advice Diva welcomes your questions — particularly the more amusing ones. Write her at advicediva@miamiherald.com.