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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Astrorubies alert! Boys dream big

By Christie Wilson
Advertiser Columnist

I love boys.

OK, that didn't come out right, but I just adore them. Let me explain.

Little girls, while cute as a cupcake, learn at a very early age how to wrap the world around their little finger.

By comparison, most boys, for all their male bluster, are very transparent and wear their hearts on their sleeve.

They are not terribly complicated, and you can see the wheels turning.

And, God bless 'em, many guys manage to keep these irresistible traits well into adulthood.

Boys also have a very active inner life, characterized by unfettered imaginations and random musings from an alternate universe.

It's a real struggle to keep a straight face while listening to my son and his friend.

In the same tone one might discuss the impact of chlorofluorocarbons on global warming, the two recently debated the likely outcome of a Dracula vs. Jason vs. Freddie death match. (I wouldn't be surprised if that very same conversation is taking place somewhere right now between twentysomething buddies enjoying a couple of brewskis.)

The consensus among the backseat boys was that Dracula would have the upper hand.

"I'd invent a machine that would make it daylight all the time to keep Dracula away," said The Boy.

"Or, you could move to Alaska," said his friend.

Inventing a machine is my son's answer to most of life's roadblocks.

On another car ride, he broke his thoughtful silence with this:

"What would you do if a huge asteroid crashed right in front of our car? And it cracked open and it was filled with astrorubies?"

"Astrorubies? What are those?"

"Oh, I just made it up."

Then, a few days later: "How do you get to be president? Do you have to go to school or something?"

I could only guess at his ulterior motive for wanting to be the leader of the free world, but this school assignment from a while back offered clues:

"If I were in charge of the world, I'd cancel school, girly movies, toothpaste and also toothbrushes.

"There'd be more dodgeball games and you wouldn't have cigarettes, or 'Eat your vegetables.' You wouldn't even have vegetables.

"If I were in charge of the world, you would get free candy and juice. Kids could drive cars and they would have jobs.

"And a person who sometimes does nothing, and sometimes plays around, would still be allowed to be in charge of the world."

I love boys.

Reach Christie Wilson at cwilson@honoluluadvertiser.com.