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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Saturday, July 8, 2006

Sacrifice born out of love

By Donnette and Glade Tew

As a young married couple, most of our goals revolved around the family we planned to have. But for years, our goals seemed frustrated because we were not able to have children. Looking back, we can see that through this trial our lives have really been incredibly blessed.

We have been blessed by adoption social workers who have truly cared for us. We have grown more empathetic with the trials others face, even if those trials are different from our own. Our faith in God has grown as we've put our trust in him to help us. And now we have been blessed by four birth mothers who made the decision to give their babies to us. We love them so much and we tell them of our gratitude even many years after they placed their children with us.

Our children knew from an early age that they were adopted. For a time, our oldest daughter struggled, not because she did not feel like she belonged in our family, but because she wondered why her birth mother would give her up. Then, when she was 7 years old, she had the opportunity to come to the adoption placement of her new little brother. Our daughter was part of our little circle as this teenage girl placed her baby boy in the arms of his new mother. She had a chance to see the tears of sacrifice and joy and to feel the love that filled that room.

Afterward, we asked our daughter, "Do you think this birth mother gave us her child because she didn't love him?"

"Oh, no!" was her certain reply. "She gave him to us because of how much she did love him."

Then we talked about how it was exactly the same in her case. Her birth mother had given her to us because she loved her, because she knew she would be unable to give her baby a father and a mother, and because of the stability and security she wanted for her baby.

We continue to see how adoption blesses us. Each day, our family prays for help in preparing for one more child who will be coming from China.

We see our children's faith grow through the experience. Truly the writer of Proverbs was right when he declared, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart ... and he shall direct thy paths (Proverbs 3:5-6)."

Glade and Donnette Tew are members of the La'ie Hawai'i north stake of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.