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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Thursday, July 13, 2006

Buffett's parental wisdom as good as his financial advice

By Michelle Singletary

WASHINGTON — No doubt you've heard that Warren Buffett, investor extraordinaire, has decided to give most of his wealth away to charity.

Buffett's billions will be donated largely to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. (Buffett and Melinda Gates are directors of The Washington Post Co.)

What's also extraordinary is that Buffett won't be leaving his vast wealth to his three children. As I read news reports about his gift, I was struck by Buffett's explanation as to why he's not transferring his riches to his kids.

In a Fortune article, Buffett was quoted as saying: "Certainly neither Susie nor I ever thought we should pass huge amounts of money along to our children. Our kids are great. But I would argue that when your kids have all the advantages anyway, in terms of how they grow up and the opportunities they have for education, including what they learn at home — I would say it's neither right nor rational to be flooding them with money. In effect, they've had a gigantic head start in a society that aspires to be a meritocracy. Dynastic mega-wealth would further tilt the playing field that we ought to be trying instead to level."

Buffett is as wise about how to parent his children as he has been in amassing his wealth.

I thought about Buffett's comments as I was reading "24-Karat Kids" by Dr. Judy Goldstein and Sebastian Stuart (St. Martin's Press, $22.95), the July pick for the Color of Money Book Club.

This isn't my typical recommendation. Not a single budget sheet in the book. No tips on picking the right mutual fund. You won't get any help with retirement planning.

Nope, this is a delightful book that deliciously dishes on rich, overindulgent parents. Goldstein is a prominent New York pediatrician. Stuart is an author. Together they have written a fictional account of the life of Dr. Shelley Green, who has just landed a job at Madison Pediatrics on Manhattan's Upper East Side, the epicenter for wretched excess.

"Dr. Judy Goldstein and Sebastian Stuart are writing about a milieu I know well, and their take on it is fresh and very entertaining," says Woody Allen on the book jacket.

And yes, that's the Woody Allen, actor, director and writer.

As one wealthy parent in the book admits: "There is something you don't understand about having all the money, all the time and all the crisp, capable staff you've always wanted ... when you can snap your fingers and just buy whatever you want, none of it means anything."

I was riveted by this occasionally risque (this is not appropriate for young readers) cautionary tale of living high.

In her 30 years of practicing as a pediatrician, Goldstein said she has seen some disturbing parenting.

"These children grow up in an environment where instead of having aspirations to achieve professional and personal goals, their only goal is to achieve money and the power it brings to 'have it all,' though they may end up having nothing, i.e., no personal happiness," she said in an interview.

Although "24-Karat Kids" is satirical (and occasionally stereotypical), there's lots of truth in what the fake Dr. Green sees, Goldstein said.

It's not necessary to sign up your 4-month-old for musical classes or get a math tutor for an 8-month-old baby, both doctors — the real and fabricated — argue.

OK, Goldstein doesn't actually know a parent who got a math tutor for an 8-month-old, but parents are spending too much for the extras, she said.

Goldstein hopes people get this out of her novel: "The most expensive does not necessarily equate with best. Whether it is your child's school, camp, extra-curricular lessons and activities, stroller, clothing or toys, what matters most is not the price, but the quality and the match with your child's needs and not the parent's."

The fictitious parents parading in and out of the posh pediatric practice in "24-Karat Kids" confirm what we real penny-pinching parents know. The love of money and prestige often spoils the child. Thankfully, Goldstein and Stuart deliver that medicinal message in an entertaining book.