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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Sunday, July 16, 2006

Pursuit of passion starts with turning TV off

By Michael C. DeMattos

It was a Saturday morning and I was 12 years old.

My father walked into the living room and said that I watched entirely too much TV. He told me to grab a pair of socks and hop into the car.

I didn't know it at the time, but my life would change that fateful day when I was joyously kidnapped by my father. He took me to a bowling alley and signed me up with the local junior league. From the moment I heard the crash of the pins, I knew that I had found my passion.

Like most fathers, I want only the best for my daughter, and I try my hardest to provide her with every opportunity to succeed in life, now and I hope well into the future. Sadly, I cannot control life and the many travails she will face while on this big blue marble, but experience has taught me, and recent research confirmed, that there are two things that every child needs in order to live a rich and fulfilling life: a single caring adult and a life passion. I had both.

I believe that it is my responsibility as a father to expose her to the vast ocean of life-enriching experiences and to be her port in the storm when the seas get rough. The truth is that there will be no yellow brick road for my daughter. The mention of my name will open no doors, and all that she achieves in life will be the result of hard work. Nothing prepares you better for the magnum opus we call life than following your bliss.

The passionate life is not an easy life. Passion is all about sacrifice and about what you are willing to give up to pursue your dream. Whether it is canoe-paddling, playing the cello, the palette knife and canvas or rolling the rock, a true passion demands no less than everything you have.

Do not get me wrong, my daughter need not become the next Michelle Wie or Johnny Lang; she needs only to follow her bliss.

Passion is not about fame and fortune; it is about love, dedication and drive. It is about immersing yourself in something so fully that you shiver at the fear of losing yourself only to realize that you are never more yourself than when you are practicing your art.

Between her mother and me, my daughter should have little doubt that she is loved. The first cornerstone is in place and the second stone must go down; my daughter must find her passion. Not today or even tomorrow, but one day, I hope.

I bowl about once every five years now and have a new passion, golf. But sometimes I can still smell the lane conditioner and hear the crash of the pins, and behind it all, I catch the scent of the Old Spice cologne Dad used to wear, and I hear his gravelly voice cheering me on, encouraging me to chase my dream.

One day, my daughter will be chasing her own dream and like my father before me, I will be sitting behind her cheering her on. Whatever it is that my daughter pursues, I will be there to support her because passion demands sacrifice, not only from our children but from their parents.

It seems to me that my daughter watches entirely too much TV.

Michael C. DeMattos is on the faculty at the University of Hawai'i-Manoa, School of Social Work. He lives in Kane'ohe with his wife, daughter and two dogs.