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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Sunday, July 23, 2006

Leave freeway salvaging to 'us professionals'

By Ka'ohua Lucas

The freeway was gridlocked.

As the car crept along in the far-right lane, my husband reached over for a pair of clip-on sunglasses. His left arm lay limp on his lap as a result of a recent recreational injury.

"Dad," my eldest son asked. "What are you doing?"

"The sun's a bit fierce, lad, I need me glasses," he said.

As he snapped the left clip into place, he rested the palm of his injured arm on the steering wheel. He slid the tinted clip-ons onto the frame of his eyeglasses, but the force of the movement caused the titanium frames to lift off the bridge of my husband's nose, launch out the window and skitter across the freeway.

"Oh my gosh, Dad!" my 16-year-old shouted, craning his neck to see if the glasses were still intact. "No one has rolled over them yet! We can save them!"

As I mentioned in an earlier article, my husband is an avid recycler. There are a number of items strewn around our yard. Over the years, he has salvaged wooden pallets, a concrete sink and used lumber. He even rescued a wheelbarrow that had partially disintegrated.

"You never know when this may come in handy," he says.

So I was not surprised when my son told me that his dad immediately veered off the freeway to recoup his glasses.

Dressed in professional garb — Levi action slacks and a Sig Zane aloha shirt — my husband leaped out of his vehicle. Shoeless, I might add.

He shuffled down the shoulder of the freeway, dragging his limp left arm.

Within several yards from where he lost his frames, he caught sight of the glasses, which were still intact.

The traffic was thick, but the glasses lay unscathed.

A break allowed him to bolt over to retrieve his eyewear, but before he got there a Ford F150 rolled over them, shattering the titanium frames.

Although there were a few scuff marks, my husband was able to salvage the lenses.

As he scooted back into the seat of the car, he remarked about his good fortune.

"You see, son, at least I have the lenses," he said, peering through one of the pieces. "All I need to do now is replace the frames. That's an added bonus!"

I asked him if he had any words of wisdom for those who may have experienced losing items on the freeway.

"I'm a professional freeway salvager," he said with a faraway look in his eyes. "I've had many years of experience gathering my personal effects off the freeway.

"I'd like to warn anyone who reads this column to not attempt freeway recycling. Leave it to us professionals."

Reach Ka'ohua Lucas at Family Matters, 'Ohana section, The Advertiser, P.O. Box 3110, Honolulu, HI 96802; fax 525-8055; or at ohana@honoluluadvertiser.com.