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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Sunday, June 11, 2006

Driving mom tests skill, patience

By Ka'ohua Lucas

Kids, ensure parents feel safe if you want wheels of your own

"Look out for the car that's coming up on your left-hand side," I said, slamming my feet on an imaginary braking device.

"Why do you do that?" my 16-year-old son asked, resting his foot on the brake of our car.

"Do what?" I said, looking over my shoulder for other intrusive vehicles.

"Jam your feet on the floorboard like that?" he said.

"It's an unconscious reaction," I said.

"Switch, switch, switch," I jabbed my index finger in the direction of the center lane of the freeway, signaling that it was time for him to change lanes.

OK, I admit that I'm not the most patient person when it comes to teaching my son to drive.

I probably do everything that I'm not supposed to do.

"Patience is the name of the game," writes one Internet source. "Try to be calm and relaxed to instill confidence (in the driver); be sympathetic and understanding."

I can't remember being so anxious when my daughter first got behind the wheel.

I was a lot more composed. Nothing could ruffle me.

She was focused. My son is not.

A few months ago, we were making our way home on the back roads of Makiki. Just a few blocks from school, he recognized a fellow classmate.

"Hey, there's J," he said, rolling his head to the left to look over his shoulder.

A high-school kid was shuffling down the sidewalk, packing an oversized backpack.

"Please pay attention to the road," I said.

"Mom, don't worry, I've got it," he assured me.

He began searching for the power switch that would roll down the driver's window.

"Hey, hey, hey, what are you doing?" I nearly shouted. "Don't fool around!"

The car veered off to the left before my son regained control.

"Mom, that was J," he said, sounding exasperated.

"I don't care if it's the president of the United States," I said. "You've got to keep your eyes on the road when you're behind the wheel."

I know this is all part of the learning process.

My son has made great strides in becoming more aware of his surroundings and the other drivers on the road. Although he passed the driving test and earned a provisional license, I'm still leery about handing over the keys.

My husband is too.

"It's a good thing we're keeping him off the road," my husband said. "All of humanity is benefiting."

Reach Ka'ohua Lucas at Family Matters, 'Ohana section, The Advertiser, P.O. Box 3110, Hono-lulu, HI 96802; fax 525-8055; or at ohana@honoluluadvertiser.com.