On school mornings, the bus comes to the front of the Kane'ohe home and 72-year-old Charles Ratledge walks his young adopted son out to the gate, helps him clamber aboard and waits.

So does the school bus driver.

Every day, as 3-year-old Keahi reaches the top step, he turns around and comes back down to throw his arms around "Papa" in a goodbye embrace.

Only then is he ready to start his day at preschool.

Well into retirement, Charles and Minuet Ratledge have tackled what more and more grandparents and great-grandparents in Hawai'i are doing — taking on the full-time care of, and even adopting, their grandchildren or great-grandchildren.

As families across Hawai'i honor their fathers on Father's Day, Ratledge has already been touched deeply by the gift of an American flag from their eldest son, Lewis Naumchik, 47. He will be sworn in as a full colonel tomorrow at the Pentagon in Washington, D.C.

But as today dawns, it will be Ratledge's youngest ones — this third generation of children he is helping to raise — with their chubby arms flung 'round his neck, and their loving drawings, who will bring the tears.

"Kanoe (his 5-year-old adopted daughter and biological great-grandchild) has asked, 'Am I ever going to have to leave you, Papa?' " he says. "And I tell her, 'Not in this lifetime.' "

According to the most recent U.S. Census figures, children are being raised by their grandparents in 9 percent of Hawai'i households. Though the numbers are now six years old, in 2000 the state had 14,029 households — of a total of 153,000 at the time — in which grandparents were responsible for grandchildren under the age of 18. That puts Hawai'i close to the top of the list of the states in the share of households headed by grandparents.

Additionally, census figures show that about 38,000 children — 13 percent of all the children under 18 in Hawai'i — live with grandparents.

"Because of Hawai'i's drug crisis, the children being left with grandparents has increased significantly," says Pat Urieff, a systems facilitator with the Queen Lili'uokalani Children's Center. The organization offers social work as well as legal assistance to 'ohana members seeking to foster or adopt children. "It's to the point that it's one of our target groups now — grandparents raising grandchildren statewide."

'GOD LED US TO IT'

For the extended Ratledge family of his, her and their children, Minuet and Charles are the rock on which the family relies.

"If you call for a new car, well then you'll have to get work," Ratledge chuckles. "But if they need something like food, we'll give it to them."

Several years ago they raised a grandson for five years. Now, having adopted two great-grandchildren, they're also guardians for a 15-year-old granddaughter and are in the process of adopting a third great-grandchild.

As family members struggle with difficulties in their lives, they know there is a safe haven on a quiet street in Kane'ohe.

"We have a large Hawaiian family and we do take care of each other, no matter what," says Ratledge, a U.S. Army baseball cap covering his silvery hair as the kids tumble about his feet.

"God led us to it," he says. "He controls our lives 24/7."

With good health and comfortable retirements, the couple have stepped into this era of their lives with grace and ease.

"We could never take a cruise and wonder if the children are all right," she says, scooping up the youngest great-grandchild and snuggling him in her arms. "I couldn't enjoy myself. It would be too difficult."

Grandparents offer their extended families and their communities great strength, say educators involved in the learning of young children.

"Grandparents have a lot of wisdom. They've been through a lot," says Gail Omoto, statewide program director for the Tutu and Me free preschool program aimed at providing assistance to grandparents looking after their grandchildren.

At the 16 Tutu and Me preschool sites throughout the state, it's often grandparents who bring children in for the two-hour sessions of play and learning twice a week. Many are full-time caregivers, providing a richness and sense of heritage in the lives of their young charges.

"Our whole concept is based on the resiliency studies of sociologist Emmy Werner, who found that children who grew up in adverse circumstances often had one characteristic in common — a supportive relationship with one person, and very often this was a grandparent," Omoto says.

Urieff, of Queen Lili'uokalani Children's Center, says it's crucial for children going through traumatic events to be around their grandfathers.

"They have the family history, the family stories and the values, like teaching about the importance of hard work," she says. "Children that have been traumatized gain so much from being around their grandfathers."

CHANGES IN TRADITION

Hawai'i has a long cultural tradition of hanai — the fostering or adopting of children by family members, often grandparents, or close friends.

But with changes in society in the past two decades and new privacy laws, traditional patterns are changing, says grass-roots activist Jackie Chong, who helped found the organization Na Tutu to lobby for rights for elderly caregivers.

"We found we couldn't enroll the kids in school if they weren't living in the same area as the parents, or we couldn't take the kids to the doctor anymore because you need the parents' consent," says Chong, who has helped raise nieces, nephews and grandchildren.

Because of a strong lobbying effort launched by Na Tutu, the state Legislature has passed a law allowing grandparents — or any caregiver over 18 who has had the children in their custody for at least six months — to enroll the children in school in their district.

Na Tutu is both a lobbying coalition and a support group for grandparents caring for grandchildren. It is based at the Queen Lili'uokalani Children's Centers in most communities, offering advice, referrals and legal assistance to grandparents in caregiving roles.

In remote Ka'u on the Big Island, Walter Wong Yuen is one of those grandparents. Because everyone else in the family is working and he's retired, Wong Yuen has become the primary caregiver for his 2 1/2-year-old granddaughter, Kamalani. He takes her to preschool, takes her with him on errands, bathes her at night and puts her to bed. What he's found, he says, is a bond he never had with his own children.

"That's what everybody says — she's grandpa's girl," he says. "My own kids, I used to see them just X amount of hours. But this is every day. I see her the whole time."

Laid up for more than a year with bad health, he retired a few months ago from his job as a county maintenance worker. Around the same time, his son and family returned from the Mainland and moved in while they were resettling. Grandpa was the obvious answer to the childcare issue; now he takes her everywhere, loading her in the stroller and going on adventures.

FAMILY PREFERRED

The Ratledges also are discovering they have a new perspective raising children again at 72 and 68. "You know all the tricks," he says, glancing at 5-year-old Kanoe as she hangs upside-down from the poles of the tent shading the driveway.

"Careful, honey," he calls to her. "I don't want you to fall on your head."

"But, Papa," she calls back, "I'm hanging on carefully and I won't get hurt."

Ratledge gently insists she come down and she does.

While they had difficulty going through the adoption process, the state continues to promote a policy of reunification of families. And when birth parents can't provide a safe home, state social workers look for other appropriate and willing family members.

"We're committed to having children placed with appropriate relatives," says Amy Tsark, child welfare services branch administrator for the state Department of Human Services. "We encourage relatives to step forward. We need them to come forward early so children aren't bounced around."

A MAGICAL TIME

In the past federal fiscal year about half of the 354 adoptions in cases where children had been placed in foster care were to relatives of the child. That's about 10 more than the previous year.

Relatives who wish to adopt undergo a licensing procedure that includes evaluation of their financial stability, health and age. "We don't discriminate on age," Tsark says. "But we do look at their age and each situation."

The age factor doesn't daunt the Ratledges. But they, too, carefully considered their health, which is good.

And they realized this is a magical time of being able to give full attention to the children without the stress of racing to work. It means time for preschool together, time for lessons in ballet, swimming, hula, tap-dancing, gymnastics, piano and soccer, not to mention Sunday school. Time for filling the paddling pool and sitting outside while the kids splash with delight.

"We're trying to keep our family together," Ratledge says with simple frankness. "Who better to take care of them than those who love them the most?"

Reach Beverly Creamer at bcreamer@honoluluadvertiser.com.