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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Thursday, March 9, 2006

Movie openings

Advertiser Staff

  • "Failure to Launch": A 35-year-old man (Matthew McConaughey) still lives at home with his parents. They dream of being empty-nesters and hire a specialist (Sarah Jessica Parker) at getting grown men to move out of their parents' homes. Opens tomorrow at Dole Cannery 18 Theatres, Ward Stadium 16, Kahala 8-Plex, Koko Marina 8-Plex, Pearl Highlands 12, Pearlridge West 16-Plex, Kapolei 16-Plex, Mililani 14-Plex, Ko'olau 10-Plex, Windward Stadium 10, Prince Kuhio Stadium Cinemas (Big Island), Makalapua Cinemas (Big Island), Kaahumanu 6-Plex (Maui), Lahaina Wharf Cinemas (Maui). (PG-13)

  • "The Hills Have Eyes": A family on vacation is touring nuclear test zones when they stop at the only gas station in 200 miles and a slobbering degenerate helpfully suggests a shortcut. That makes them prey for a demented mutant incestuous cannibalistic pickax gang. Opens tomorrow at Dole Cannery, Ward, Kahala, Koko Marina, Pearl Highlands, Pearlridge West, Kapolei, Mililani, Ko'olau, Windward, Maunaloa Town Cinemas (Moloka'i), Prince Kuhio, Makalapua, Maui Mall Megaplex Cinemas (Maui), Kukui Mall 4-Plex (Maui). (R)

  • "The Libertine": Johnny Depp stars as the second Earl of Rochester (1647-1680), who died at 33 of venereal diseases that ate away his nose, so that he attended Parliament wearing a silver replacement. Opens tomorrow at Dole Cannery, Ward, Pearl Highlands, Pearlridge West, Mililani, Kaahumanu. (R)

  • "Night Watch": Since 1342, the forces of Light and Darkness have lived in an uneasy truce, but now a new Other has been born in Moscow who may upset the balance. An apocalyptic struggle plays out, involving vampires, exploding power plants, warriors using their own spines as bludgeons, and all sorts of witches and magic surgeons. Opens tomorrow at Varsity Twin. (R)

  • "The Shaggy Dog": Tim Allen plays a prosecutor who is trying his daughter's high school teacher, who torched a lab that was experimenting on animals. Allen is bitten by a 300-year-old dog from a monastery, and periodically turns into a dog himself. Opens tomorrow at Dole Cannery, Ward, Kahala, Koko Marina, Pearl Highlands, Pearlridge West, Kapolei, Mililani, Ko'olau, Windward, La'ie Cinemas, Prince Kuhio, Makalapua, Maunaloa Town, Kaahumanu, Kukui Mall, Lahaina Wharf. (PG)