Go for it, mom!
By Michael Tsai
Advertiser Staff Writer
By Michael Tsai
Mothers, it's time to put your fuzzy-slippered foot down.
You get one lousy day a year in your honor and your familia want to chip in for, what, a bathrobe? Feed 'em liver for a week!
This year, tell the brood that if they want to stay on the good side of this bad mutha, they'd better take you out. And you mean out.
Breakfast in bed is always a nice place to start, but you're no June Cleaver potted plant, so those runny eggs and burnt toast had better be followed by a few hours of quality family time in the great Hawaiian outdoors.
Here are a couple of ideas for those imagination-impaired loved ones of yours:
Can you resist slicing a blue line from Kailua Beach to the Mokulua Islands in a rented kayak?
Mother's Day deals abound, including a kama'aina special at Kailua Sailboards and Kayaks. Just $29 will get you a two-person kayak for half a day.
The lightweight craft are easy to maneuver. For beginners, a quick instructional briefing and a few minutes of practice are usually enough to get you going — hopefully in the right direction.
If your family really wants to do this right, they'll stop off on the way to get you a new swimsuit, a sun hat, sunglasses, sunscreen, a dry bag to store your important carry-ons, and a disposable ocean camera.
If mountains are your thing, you can't do much better than the Kuli'ou'ou Ridge hike in East Honolulu.
The full out-and-back trail is only 2.5 miles, with shorter turnaround points suitable for hikers of any experience level.
You'll want to at least follow the switchbacks past the ironwood trees, about two-thirds of the way up, where there is a sheltered picnic table and a wide, flat plateau where the kids can play.
The rest of the trail to the summit is wide and stable enough for beginning hikers, but the grade is a bit steep, particularly on the final approach to the 2,000-foot-high summit. (Recycled-plastic steps help.)
On a good day, the summit is a great place to stop for a snack and to survey the shoreline from Waimanalo to Kailua and beyond. Usually, though, it's very windy — so hold onto your hat.
The hike is, of course, free, which means your family should have all of their disposable income available to outfit you in sturdy, lightweight hiking shoes or boots, a lightweight synthetic athletic top, moisture-wicking socks, comfortable shorts with zipper pockets, a wide-brimmed hat, a lightweight rain jacket (just in case) and maybe a couple of new Nalgene bottles to carry the 2 liters of water (per person, minimum) you should bring with you.
There, a little exercise, a big helping of shared family fun, and a smattering of crass commerce — now that's a Mother's Day. Even your moody teenager will think it's a great idea.
If not, keep the liver ready.
Reach Michael Tsai at firstname.lastname@example.org.