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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Monday, May 22, 2006

Need for speed

By Kathleen Lavey
Gannett News Service

Impatient and stressed? Step out of fast lane and reclaim your time.

SAM WARD | USA Today

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5 TIPS FOR SLOWING DOWN

Gannett News Service

Carl Honore is author of "In Praise of Slow: Challenging the Cult of Speed" (Harper-SanFrancisco, $14.95). Try these tips for slowing life down:

  • Leave holes in your daily calendar rather than striving to fill every moment with activity. Easing the pressure on your time will help you to slow down.

  • Set aside a time of day to turn off your technology: phones, computers, pagers, e-mail, television, radio. Use the break to sit quietly somewhere, alone with your thoughts. Or try meditating.

  • Make time for at least one hobby that slows you, such as reading, painting, gardening or yoga.

  • Eat supper at the table instead of balancing it on your lap in front of the TV.

  • Always monitor your speed. If you're doing something more quickly than you need to simply out of habit, take a deep breath and slow down.

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    The woman in the TV commercial puts in her coffee order.

    Half a heartbeat goes by.

    "Where's my latte?" she asks the befuddled barista, who hasn't even had a chance to turn around and place a cup under a spigot.

    We laugh at it, but do we laugh because we believe her need for speed is ludicrous or do we laugh, nervously, because we secretly share her expectations as we try to pack 36 hours of activity into each 24-hour day?

    "I'm always stressed. I feel there's always something more to do or I'm slacking on something," says 23-year-old Teresa Potts of Lansing, Mich.

    She works full time, plays the violin in her church choir and tries to fit in time to connect with friends and chill out with games on her PlayStation 2.

    PATIENCE DEFICIENCY

    Some experts believe excessive 21st-century busy-ness also breeds impatience. We all might be turning into the woman who wants her latte now, or the guy on another commercial who insists "I don't have time for heartburn."

    In a British survey conducted in 2004, 38 percent of people admitted they had become more impatient over the preceding five years. It also found:

  • Forty-six percent of men would give up waiting in line after three minutes, while 27 percent of women would bail out.

  • Almost half of all people surveyed would not wait in line for more than five minutes in a shop.

  • Those with professional jobs were the most impatient while waiting in line or holding on the telephone.

    Many U.S. experts agree faster computers, always-available phones and e-mail that arrives in a minute instead of a day or a week all contribute to the impatience-causing overload.

    So does a culture-wide desire to do it all.

    "We've had 24 hours in a day for an awful long time," says Cathy O'Keefe, who teaches leisure theory at the University of South Alabama. "People's brains evolved based on a slower experience of time, but our technology has speeded up the amount of activity and stimulation that our brains are experiencing, and that's why we're having a disconnect."

    Scheduling ourselves so that we have little to no down time also is detrimental, says Jan Yager, a Connecticut-based time-management expert and author.

    "We're interrupted constantly," she says. "But so much of what we do needs at least an hour of concentrated time."

    TIME TO BREATHE

    Parents who want to give their kids the best opportunities enroll them in music, dance and martial arts, then rack up miles on their minivans as they ferry them from one lesson to another.

    "It's a wonderful byproduct of an affluent society to be able to have these choices," O'Keefe says. "On the other hand, there are only 24 hours in a day, and if you decide to take your child to ballet or tae kwon do and other sports and everything else, then something has to be eliminated."

    Cheryl Brown of Bannister, Mich., actually took a week off of her job as a medical transcriptionist just to get caught up. She and daughter Allison, 13, squeezed a trip to the mall into their schedule.

    "There aren't enough hours in the day," Brown says. "I feel like I'm always running."

    When she's particularly stressed, she admits she loses her temper faster. One solution: She takes advantage of the 40-minute commute home from work as time to decompress.

    "It's all country roads, so I don't have to deal with traffic," she says. "My down time is my travel time, so by the time I get home, I'm focused on home."

    She feels like the dizzying pace is simply a fact of life.

    "If families don't connect when they should, that's when it causes problems," she says.

    O'Keefe says individuals eventually get tired of being exhausted, angry or impatient, or they'll realize something is missing in their lives. Then they'll try to make a change.

    "There is an awakening, and that awakening is a good thing," she says.

    Once that happens, a family should sit down together and examine this question: What do we want our family to be like? Together, family members need to make decisions about what will make them happiest: Doing it all or dropping some things.

    The key is to take charge instead of going with the flow.

    "It's intentionality," O'Keefe says. "Without intentionality, you're either just living by the seat of your pants or by somebody else's forces of energy. That's why a lot of people are unhappy. Because they feel like they've lost their freedom."