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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Monday, May 29, 2006

Many struggle to recall a name

By STEVE BIEN-AIME
(Wilmington, Del.) News Journal

It doesn't seem difficult to remember a name, but for many people it's an ongoing struggle. Ten seconds after you make eye contact and get an introduction, you forget who you've just met.

In the business world, a good memory proves extremely beneficial — first-impressions count, and forgetting someone you just met could send the wrong message, that you don't pay attention or you can't retain critical information.

Dover, Del., Mayor Stephen R. Speed is among those with a sievelike memory for names.

"I'm at a disadvantage because they know my first name — 'Mayor,' " he said.

Concentrate on what the person is saying to you, he said. Often forgetfulness happens because you're not listening to that person, but instead thinking about what you're going to say next.

Getting herself in the right mindset helps Mary F. Holahan at social functions.

"I tell myself ahead of time what I have to remember because if I don't go with that attitude, I give myself permission to forget," said Holahan, curator of collections and exhibits at the Delaware Art Museum in Wilmington.

She said it helps to repeat the name once a person gives it to you.

Many people try to fake their way through the awkward moment by never calling the person they're speaking to by name. This can work — although if you wait for someone else to say the person's name so that you don't have to ask for it again, you might be waiting a long time.