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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Tuesday, November 7, 2006

COMMENTARY
The long and (sometimes) amusing road

By Jeanne Mariani-Belding
Advertiser Editorial Editor

Political campaigns are grueling, but have their lighter moments, too

Hear that? That's a collective sigh of relief coming from my editorial page staff today. That's because today marks the end of our long and labored endorsement process. After wading through more than 100 endorsement questionnaires, conducting nearly 200 telephone interviews, tracking dozens of campaigns and holding nearly 70 meetings with candidates in the past couple of months, we've written more than 80 endorsements.

While there's always a debate over whether newspaper editorial pages should issue endorsements, at The Advertiser we believe it's part of our responsibility as an editorial board. It's a responsibility we take seriously, as do hundreds of newspaper editorial boards across the country.

We hope that we've been helpful to you in assessing some of our candidates, and that you'll use our endorsements as just one of several tools to help you decide who will best represent you, and who is best equipped to serve Hawai'i going forward.

In many cases, we've been impressed with several newcomers; and in other instances, we've been dismayed. Such is politics.

Perhaps one of the more unusual meetings we had this election season was with one candidate who, when asked about his qualifications, repeatedly talked about his ability to harvest eyeballs. Pretty disturbing, considering this person is not a doctor — nor was he running for a position where that skill set would come in handy.

Ah, politics attracts some interesting folks.

And Hawai'i is certainly not alone in that regard. As you make your way to the polls today, I wanted to share with you a collection of short observations from editorial page editors on the Mainland about some of their most "interesting" meetings with candidates this election season.

  • A small-city mayoral candidate proposed building a city pool over the top of a pizza restaurant. His plan was to use the heat of the pizza oven to heat the pool — a win-win for the community in his eyes.

  • In another community, a mayoral candidate suggested the city should go into the casket-manufacturing business. His line of reasoning was unclear, but it has something to do with the fact he lived in a cemetery for months as a boy after running away from home decades ago.

  • When asked if there were any skeletons in his closet that might prove embarrassing, a candidate for Congress in another state, after a long pause, let it tumble: "Look, I know what it says in the court papers, but I never beat those kids — and that bankruptcy was a one-time thing. I'll square those IRS issues, too, if I get elected."

  • A county commissioner on the Mainland was asked why he was running for office. After an uncomfortable minute or so, he opened his mouth wide to reveal a set of nearly toothless gums. "Dental benefits," he confided.

  • A candidate for the U.S. Senate elsewhere expressed surprise at why he was not receiving endorsements. "I guess it's because I told them I hadn't paid my income taxes for the last four years." Good guess.

  • A Democratic candidate for comptroller in another state arrived wearing a shoulder holster with a snub-nose .38 — despite the warning signs all over the news building that prohibit even concealed carry permit holders from bringing a firearm onto the property. When confronted about it, the candidate replied, "Uh, they call it concealed carry for a reason. No one is supposed to know you have a gun."

  • A recently divorced candidate for a city council elsewhere, when asked why he was running said, well, he thought it would be a good way to meet women.

  • A Libertarian candidate running for state representative on the Mainland pointed out that he doesn't believe in kindergarten at all. He said: It's just a plot to keep kids away from their parents and another way this is becoming a communist country.

  • A candidate for U.S. Senate in another state refused to answer any questions that didn't concern either the deficit or rails. And three times she performed the following pantomime: "They pull the wool over your eyes" as she pulls invisible wool over her eyes with one hand, "while they take the money out of your wallet," while she lifts an imaginary wallet out of an imaginary pocket with her other hand. Really. Three times.

    Just a reminder that the election season has had its interesting moments.

    So, take the time to vote today. Don't let someone else decide who will represent you — otherwise you might just have to live with that choice.

    Reach Jeanne Mariani-Belding at jmbelding@honoluluadvertiser.com.

    Jeanne Mariani-Belding is editor of The Advertiser's editorial and opinion section.