Posted on: Monday, October 9, 2006
Office gossip can backfire — or help
By Mary Ellen Slayter
Washington Post
I'm not much for fridge magnets, but I do have one that I'm fond of. It features four chatty-looking women with the words: "We're not gossiping, we're networking."
What are you doing when you're standing around the water cooler, or trading conspiratorial tales with co-workers at the local coffee shop? (You know the news is going to be juicy when you need to go off site to so much as whisper it.) Do you walk away from these "don't tell anyone I told you this but" gab sessions feeling empowered or guilty?
Of course, there are advantages to staying "in the loop," but being privy to unofficial information can also put you in an awkward spot.
There's a good way to gossip at work and a bad way. How can you tell which is which?
Bad gossip ...
Is petty. This isn't high school. Unless you're working at a beauty salon, or someone's grooming habits are so out of the ordinary that they affect the business's bottom line, talking about people's looks is just dumb. Same for any conversation you're tempted to start about what people eat for lunch.
Is indiscreet. Even in the case of information that is clearly important to a lot of people, it's best to pass on news one person at a time, not at a staff meeting or with a small group of people over drinks. And if it's something that could embarrass or upset another person — including the person you're sharing the information with — take it behind closed doors. This rule applies even when other people aren't being discreet and something has become common knowledge in an office. And watch the e-mails; they create a trail back to you and can easily be taken out of context.
Is primarily intended to harm someone. Fine, you don't like Sue from accounting. But if every time you open your mouth, all that comes out is some new gripe about her, pretty soon people aren't going to like you. It doesn't matter if you have a good reason to hate her (she keeps sending you half-finished reports, forcing you to scramble to meet your own deadlines) — or goofy ones (she stole your boyfriend during freshman year in college).
Good gossip ...
Is relevant. So you can't slam Sue from accounting in random conversations, but if someone asks you what you think about her work habits, you can share the troubles you have had in getting the reports you need from her. This will carry a lot more weight if you don't already have a reputation for having an ax to grind.
Helps people make important decisions.
Helps people do their jobs better. Before you share some tidbit, especially if it's a negative thing you heard about the person you're about to share it with, ask yourself: What can this person do with the information? Is the issue something he or she can change?
