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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Tuesday, September 12, 2006

ABOUT WOMEN
Girlfriends keep guy blues at bay

By Leila Wai
Advertiser Columnist

I have the best girlfriends.

I've been going through some emotional strains recently mainly because of a guy. But my girls are rallying around me.

Chelsie prays for me. Reminds me that since I was 6, when we first met, that I've been stronger than I think I am. Then she goes just as far back, letting me know that I've been through tougher times.

Shaina, who lives in California, came home for a couple of weeks and promptly suggested a mini-getaway to take my mind off things. We headed off to Turtle Bay. The other night, after I called her, she rushed over with ice cream that turns your mouth blue, maybe to match my mood. By night's end, we were laughing too much at our blue teeth for me to be sad.

Kristin does what she does best: takes my mind off my problems. A couple of weeks ago, we were supposed to go out for drinks and her car stalled, changing the evening's plans from fun to frustration.

Lea is there for me at all hours. I think I called her before 7 a.m. one day. And she was happy to talk.

Katie, who was my rock in high school, has re-emerged with kind phone calls and e-mails, and an open invitation for lunch.

The high school girls all mention something about going out and getting together.

And my family's been fantastic. My sister Maile brought home the best remedy for a broken heart: chocolate-chip cookies. She made me a CD with breakup songs including "I Will Survive," by Gloria Gaynor, "Ex-Girlfriend" by No Doubt and "Over" by Keahiwai.

My mom tries to keep my mind occupied, throwing Sudoku puzzles at me, challenging me with, "This one's a Sunday one it's the hardest." And she keeps tempting me with offers of a pedicure. She's patient when I talk about the same things over and over.

Even the guys have been great. Ryan, Nate and Ian all reached out from the Mainland. Jeremy and Jon offer eating and exercise. (I'll need one if I'm partaking in the other, but both are equally satisfying.)

My boss, Curtis, keeps me busy with work although I'm not sure that's entirely for my benefit.

All are ready and willing to listen to me lament about why things are the way they are. Or why they can't be different. They've been trying to change my "Why nots?" to "Who cares?"

And they are keeping me busy. I don't think there's been a night when I haven't been invited out. As a homebody who likes to obsess and overanalyze, it's been helpful.

All the cliches about how "things happen for a reason," and "they'll get better with time" sound better when it comes from the mouths of people who care and want the best for you.

In all this, I'm realizing how lucky I am because of the people around me who really love me. Even if it takes heartbreak to learn. I know because my support system keeps reminding me that I'll be fine.

If not, they'll do something about it.

Reach Leila Wai at lwai@honoluluadvertiser.com.