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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Monday, September 25, 2006

Try to iron out problems with co-workers

By Marie G. McIntyre, Ph.D.
McClatchy-Tribune News Service

Q. I have trouble working with the people on my team. I just want to focus on my job, but they like to laugh and chat and gossip all the time. They tease people and call them names for fun, but the names they call me aren't very funny. I'm thinking about asking my boss to move me to another team where it seems quieter. He believes we are one big happy group, so I'm not sure what reason to give him. Can you help me decide what to do?

— Tired of My Team

A. Here's the key question: are your co-workers trying to be mean or do they simply have a rowdy sense of humor? If their name-calling includes offensive terms, like racial or ethnic slurs, that's completely out of line. But if they just like to hand out nicknames, then they may be treating you as one of the gang.

Before considering a move, check out the other group to be sure that it's really an improvement. And unless your colleagues are doing something truly inappropriate, don't complain to your boss. Since he views this as a happy team, he might decide that you are the problem employee.

If you do ask to switch, offer a business reason for the change, such as developing new skills or tackling new challenges. Or you might simply say that a quieter environment will help you concentrate on work.

Should you decide to stay put, however, try to get along with your talkative team members. Unless they intend to be cruel, they may have no idea that their jokes are offensive. So you need to either discuss your hurt feelings or adjust to their boisterous, chatty work style.