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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Monday, December 3, 2007

ADVERTISER CHRISTMAS FUND
Tired Hawaii mom does her best for 6 kids

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Help our neighbors in need

By Lynda Arakawa
Advertiser Staff Writer

HOW TO DONATE

Send checks, payable to "The Advertiser Christmas Fund," to Helping Hands Hawai'i, P.O. Box 17780, Honolulu, HI 96817. Helping Hands will accept credit card donations by telephone, 440-3831. Monetary donations may also be dropped off at any First Hawaiian Bank branch or The Advertiser's cashier desk.

To donate online, go to: honoluluadvertiser.com and click on the Christmas Fund icon. Monetary donations help operate Community Clearinghouse programs year-round.

The Advertiser's "Secret Santa" will match the first $25 of every donation to the fund. The anonymous philanthropist last year pitched in $32,600.

Material goods may be taken to the Community Clearinghouse, 2100 N. Nimitz Highway, near Pu'uhale Road. For large-item pickup and additional information, call 440-3804.

Donations may be made to particular families, but please specify the family. The money will be given in the form of a Wal-Mart, Kmart or Longs gift certificate.

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Exhaustion and stress bear down so heavily on this 47-year-old mother.

But day by day she keeps going without fail — caring for her severely disabled son, looking after her five other children, struggling to make do with the limited income she and her husband earn. The unrelenting demands have aged her, but she's not giving up.

"I have to do it for my kids," said the woman, who didn't want to be identified. "I'm just doing the best I can."

The last several years have been rough for the family.

The woman's 9-year-old son was born with cerebral palsy and is dependent on his parents and older siblings. The boy already has undergone six surgeries and is often in and out of the hospital because he suffers from chronic lung disease. He's wheelchair-bound, relies on a feeding tube and weighs less than 40 pounds.

The family does have some help; a nurse comes to their house several hours a day to help care for the boy, who is also tutored by a teacher at home.

But the family also is hurting financially. The family's primary source of income — her husband's earnings as a car salesman — barely covers the necessities. The woman has a part-time night job at McDonald's to make some extra money, but it's still difficult to make ends meet.

It wasn't always this way. Before the family moved from Guam to Hawai'i to get better healthcare for her disabled son, finances were better. She said she was an accountant, a job she had to give up because she needed to take care of her son.

But the mother of six believes in making the best of the life she and her family were given and in taking on whatever comes their way.

"Sometimes you find yourself in a different situation, and you have to learn how to cope with it and accept the things you cannot change," she said. She reminds her children that they're lucky to have a home, unlike other families.

"Everything will be OK," she said. "As long as we eat three times (a day) and we have a roof over our head and we're all together, that's a blessing."

The family has a few needs this Christmas, including an electric standing fan to improve the ventilation in the room of the 9-year-old boy. He also needs a fold-up futon mattress and a car seat designed for children with special needs.

The mother would also appreciate any new clothes for her children to help boost their self-esteem.

Her 14-year-old son wears a size 30x29 pants/L shirt; her 13-year-old son wears a #20 (Young Man) pants/M shirt; her 9-year-old son wears a size 8 pants/S shirt, and her 6-year-old daughter wears a size 5 pants/S shirt.

She and her husband also have 11-year-old twin daughters; they wear a size 7 pants/M shirt and a size 8 pants/L shirt.

Reach Lynda Arakawa at larakawa@honoluluadvertiser.com.

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