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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Sunday, December 16, 2007

Bold 4-year-old gives mom reason to ponder

By Treena Shapiro
Advertiser Staff Writer

My 4-year-old's boldness often impresses me, but too often I wonder if it's eventually going to get her in trouble.

Case in point: A couple days ago, a co-worker and I were standing together and talking when my daughter decided that my co-worker needed a hug.

As she threw her arms around him, he looked down and said, "Someday your mom is going to warn you about me."

I did some quick mental calculations and decided he might be right, but as he noted, I'm not ready to warn her about him now. After he walked away, I reminded her that she's not supposed to touch people she doesn't know.

I'm sure that my daughter's thought process went something like this, "This is Mommy's friend, so this is my friend, so I should hug him."

I don't think it had anything to do with the fact that he was cute or even that he was a he.

My friends and I always joke that my daughter has no loyalty. Given the choice, she'll often pick going to one of my friends' houses instead of coming home with me.

When we have no plans for the day, she usually suggests that we go have lunch with an uncle or auntie.

She just likes people.

She also expects that they will like her. I made the mistake of mentioning that I was going out to celebrate a friend's birthday last week, and she wanted to come with me. When I told her it was only for adults, she was still convinced that she could be the exception.

"It will make him happy," she insisted.

She lost the argument, in case you're wondering.

The lesson I'm trying to teach her these days is that there are other ways of showing affection besides touching.

I'm just making it clear that she can always hug me.

Reach Treena Shapiro at tshapiro@honoluluadvertiser.com.

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