You can hear the exhaustion in Susan Kim's voice.

The 49-year-old single mother has dealt with so much over the years. Her 13-year-old daughter is severely autistic and requires constant care. Her 15-year-old son was diagnosed with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder and has been teased by his classmates about his sister's condition for years.

The family also recently suffered heartbreaking losses. Kim's ex-husband, the father of her children, died last year of cancer. Her daughter still asks for him.

A month ago, Kim's elderly father died after suffering from heart problems, which has been particularly hard on her son. Her father's funeral expenses also set her back financially to the point where she was behind in her rent, she said.

And to add even more to the family's problems, Kim suffers from osteoarthritis and needs knee replacements in both her knees. She said she's been putting off the surgery to care for her children but has a hard time walking.

It all seems to be almost too much for one person to handle.

But Kim said all she can do is keep looking ahead and give all she can to her children.

"It's tiring, but you gotta keep on going," Kim said. "You can't give up."

Taking care of her daughter, who is physically strong and unpredictable, can be exhausting.

Kim feels guilty that so much of her time has gone to her daughter, saying her son is "just burning for attention." They haven't been to a restaurant as a family for years, she said. She hopes that the additional services that she was recently able to get for her daughter will help.

She's also trying to get specialized help for her son.

"He said, 'We can't go anywhere together,' " she said, her voice breaking. "I tell him, with all the help we're getting, in time it will come."

She plans to have surgery on her knees in February, after which she hopes her condition will improve enough so that she can go back to work. But she's concerned about how her children will fare when she's in the hospital. Her son, who was deeply affected by the death of his grandfather, is worried that he'll lose her when she undergoes surgery.

For the moment, she would just like for her children to have something this Christmas. She said she has a donated tree, but no presents under it yet.

"I just want to make my children happy this year despite all the things we've gone through," she said.

But the single mother is still grateful and reminds her children that they should be, too.

"I keep telling (my son), 'Be grateful for what we have now, because there's a lot of children who have it worse than us,' " she said. " 'We have a hot shower and a bed and a roof over our head. You guys are safe and we have a place to stay for now.' "

The family's wish list includes clothes and an affordable rental; The transitional housing Kim and her family live in has a two-year time limit.

Kim's son wears a size 36 pants and 2x shirt; her daughter wears a size 24 pants and 3x shirt/dress.

Kim's daughter also needs a new or used laptop computer so she can continue to use her learning programs. The one she has — a gift from her grandfather — is broken.

The donated desktop computer that Kim's son uses for school also is in need of repair, she said.

Kim's son loved attending Winners' Camp — a confidence-building program for teenagers — last spring and would like to be able to go again. He has been asking to go back to Winners' Camp or for a Nintendo Wii system.

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Reach Lynda Arakawa at larakawa@honoluluadvertiser.com.

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