I was sitting at a bar a couple of weeks ago half-watching a silent TV when a clip of the New York-Golden State game flashed on the screen. Masochistic Knicks fan that I am, I watched in horror as 7-foot, 300-infinity-pound Eddy Curry got outmuscled for a rebound by 6-foot-3, 12-ounce Warrior guard Monta Ellis.

"Ooh," exclaimed the guy two stools over. "Nice going, Amaechi." (Translation: "You should have snagged that rebound — you fairy.")

It had been roughly a week since former NBA player John Amaechi publically revealed that he is gay, an admission that sent reporters and columnists scurrying for juicy quotes and players groping for benign answers.

"What an Amaechi," my not-friend continued, determined to get props for what he apparently viewed as a hilariously topical joke.

Knucklehead? Sure. Homophobe? Perhaps. Original? Hardly. The Amaechi jokes had been flying almost as soon as the retired center outed himself.

Among NBA players, the smattering of negative reactions were predictable, from LeBron James questioning the trustworthiness of any teammate who would keep his sexuality secret, to Shavlik Randolph's frat-boyish "I don't judge anybody, just as long as you don't bring your gayness on me," to Tim Hardaway's infamous "I hate gay people." (Hardaway later clarified that he doesn't actually have a "hate bone" in his body.)

Most, however, donned their PC best, including NBA commissioner David Stern, who spoke assertively about the diversity of his league and, wisely putting his foot where Hardaway's head seemed to be, banished Mr. Skillz from All-Star weekend in Las Vegas.

Yet, as Amaechi later confirmed, only one NBA person — Boston Celtics coach Doc Rivers — bothered to get in touch with Amaechi to express support. The implication was clear. Yeah, we're open minded. No, we don't actually want to talk to the dude. Which got me to thinking (never a good thing) about the real and figurative distances that often exist between men who support gay rights and men who are gay.

I've never seen homosexuality as immoral. You love who you love, right? And I remember feeling deeply embarrassed when our lawmakers balked on making Hawai'i the first state to allow gay marriage. I also think Amaechi was right when he said that gay men and women contribute to every aspect of society, even the oft-times retrograde world of sports.

But how closely do straight and gay men actually relate? Like many straight guys, I have relatives, co-workers, sports acquaintances, and people I consider friends who are gay, but how many do I actually hang out with regularly? Strangely (or maybe not so strangely), zero.

Is it a cultural divide? Do gays feel more comfortable in the company of people of the same sexual orientation? Do I?

Hey Amaechis, anyone wanna mull this one over a beer?

Reach Michael Tsai at mtsai@honoluluadvertiser.com.