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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Tuesday, February 27, 2007

ABOUT WOMEN
In love, life, Mom knows best

By Leila Wai
Advertiser Columnist

Sometimes exercise can be detrimental to mental health.

You'd think because I'm gasping for air and my legs are burning that my mind would be occupied. But no, it's just getting me into trouble.

With all the miles and miles — and hours and hours — of running (that's a joke, people), my mind is racing faster than my legs could ever carry me.

From finances to family to friends, the subjects I cover fly by like the ground under my feet, even faster than the cars whizzing by me as I tackle my 9 1/2-minute mile.

As a single gal, the one topic that occupies my mind more than any other is relationships. Rather, the lack of any.

Now, I'm loving my single status. I love it when I can go home and watch TV all I want, or finish that really hard 1,000-piece puzzle with only the sky left. (Skies, you see, are hard.)

And I have all the free time to fit in the aforementioned exercise (hours, I'm telling you).

Valentine's Day barely blipped on my radar.

I'm not obsessed about being alone. I'm just trying to figure out why I'm single today.

Growing up, my mom taught me all the best qualities to look for in a mate: loyalty, kindness, caring, thoughtfulness, patience, understanding, etc.

But she always, always stressed that I should find someone more intelligent than me.

And I thought, "How is that possible? Does he exist?"

KIDDING!

Of course, my mom thinks I'm perfect, but that's what moms are for.

Her standards for my future mate are pretty high.

What I did get out of her talks was that I shouldn't expect less of a person than I would from myself.

It always stuck with me that I should strive to find the best.

In high school, that meant the best high school soccer players.

In college, I broadened my horizons and started dating athletes in general.

Post-college, I finally started taking my mom's advice, and I met some guys who are very, very smart.

But all of the above haven't worked out. So now I'm rethinking my whole approach to the person I want to be with.

He doesn't have to be the best-looking, make the most money, drive the nicest car.

Yes, all those things are nice, but they are no indication of his true worth as a human being.

Just because he's a good athlete or can beat me at word games or do puzzles faster than I can doesn't mean he should be placed on a pedestal.

What should he be the best at? Being with me. And he should be someone who brings out the best in me.

Oh, and I'd like someone who possesses all the qualities my mother said to look for.

After all, mom knows best.

Reach Leila Wai at lwai@honoluluadvertiser.com.