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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Monday, January 8, 2007

Would Shakespeare take to a text message from Bill Gates?

By Chuck Raasch
Gannett News Service

Text messaging is shorthand for cultural change, with more and more younger cell phone users perfecting the art of abbreviated language.

One might wonder, if given the opportunity, what technology giant Bill Gates might say to literary great William Shakespeare on the subject.

Might Gates, whose imagination created the climate for such garbled grammar, feel a little sheepish around Shakespeare? An imagined missive to the Bard, forthwith:

Memo:

From: Bill Gates

To: Bill Shakespeare

Re: Txt msging & ???????

U wldn't blve what's hppnd 2 our lnguag, Mr S........

Evrythings xxxx this and xxxx that... txt msgng is chopping evrything up....u gt 1 thought half-bked & ur onto 'nother 1

& u thought OLD ENGLISH wuz hrd to rd and writ???? Check ur blackberry.... bet u didn't see a complt sentnc on that baby in all of '06.......wrtn wrds'r lsng vwls ltgthr!!!

& this email spk - do not get me strted... madeup wrds, pncuation run amok!!!!!!!!! (:- smily face iz the singl-most communicatd phraze in our lnguag... & thn u get Porno from nowhere... sombuddy's alwaz tryng 2 sell me stocks..... 'magine that — tryng to sell stocks 2 the wrld's richest man!!!!!!! Hey... that'd make a greattttt play, doncha thnk?????

I feel smwht gilty bout it all but not sure wht 2 do bout it... Cat's alrdy out of the bag.... horses outa the barn, etc., etc.,... Gen X grew up cummnc8ting in shrthnd... GenNext haz its own MySpace lnguag.... A YouTube's worth a bazillion wrds... The prntd wrd isn't what it wuz in ur day - fr sure... No wndr newspaprs r wiltng... no one yungr than 35 has evr rd a complt paragraph!!!!!

Hey, ITS NOT ALL BAD.... Web's great - instnt connctns to ur frnds, day-r-nite!!! Spam sucks but I bet u'd have luvd WORD and e-mail when u wrote HAMLET or R&J (grt wrk, btw).... .... u'd have cut ur writng minutes in half & u clda run scenes by ur buds any time (Mebbe they'd hv talkd u into a happyer endng for R & J????? - Just kidding!!!!!)))) Edits, insrts - a breeze.... so lik I said the info-revlution's helpd make thgns alot easier, faster... the wholel wlrd's more conctd... and that's good, right?????

But thr r days, my frnd, whn I wish we cld all GO BCK!!!! ... (Can u imgn wht splcheck's gonna do 2 this 1????? :-)

Cya soon!!!

BG

***

Memo:

From: William Shakespeare

To: Bill Gates

Re: ?

??????????????

2 the Bard: Wlcm 2 my wld ... BG :)