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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Sunday, January 14, 2007

FAMILY MATTERS
Making like a turtle in Year of the Boar

By Michael DeMattos

My New Year's resolution is simple: Slow down.

After much thought, I am convinced that it is our lifestyle that is killing us. The unholy triumvirate — poor diet, lack of exercise and high stress — are the hallmarks of our modern society and all three are the direct result of our life pace.

I believe we live life in fast-forward and the only solution is to slow down.

In my plan to slow down my life, I am starting with food. I do not believe that fast food is the source of our fast-paced life, but it is symptomatic. I am not only talking about fast food from restaurants, but also right from home. I have not eaten at a fast-food restaurant in nearly four years, but I used the microwave last night. Let's face it, reheating leftovers is one thing; nuking processed foods with little to no taste and calling it dinner is another thing altogether.

It seems to me that culture revolves around the dining table. Food is central to a fulfilling life, which is why diets are doomed to fail. Food is more than an energy source; it is part of our cultural fabric. My plan is to cook slow and tasty meals that have flavors that I enjoy.

My next task is to limit the use of my PDA. This is another example of a technological gadget designed to simplify life that actually facilitates busy-ness. The PDA is to the modern employee what the shot of whiskey is to the alcoholic. For that reason, the PDA gets lumped with the microwave as an enabler of an unhealthy life.

I also need to be more patient with my family, especially my daughter. Just this past weekend we had a slumber party to celebrate my daughter's 10th birthday. As parents arrived for pickup, she was busy playing with her pals and unintentionally ignored her friend's father. Politeness is non-negotiable in our house and I instructed her to greet our guest appropriately. Sadly, I did not say please nor did I say thank you.

It dawned on me later that I failed her as a role model. If only I had slowed down and not simply reacted. Good manners start with me.

I want to be slow and deliberate with my recreation. The most common complaint I hear about golf (and it goes for other activities like fishing) is that it is time-consuming. Just last week a friend of mine suggested that golf may need a legitimate nine-hole option.

His reasoning was simple: if it took less time to play, more people would enjoy the sport.

I think he is right. After some thought, however, I am not so sure shortening the game is the answer.

In fact, I am convinced that the amount of time taken by the game is directly related to its value. Quality recreation is not time-consuming, it is time-enhancing. It is a natural antioxidant for fast-forward living.

So there it is, my New Year's resolution: slow down my life before it comes to a complete and involuntary stop. Cook and eat slowly. Clear my calendar. Be patient and practice what I preach. Be gentle with my family and also myself. And finally, make sure that I am having fun, regardless of the time it takes.

I may not be able to rewind my life, but I can stop living it in fast-forward. I just have to press play.

Michael C. DeMattos is a member of the faculty at the University of Hawai'i School of Social Work. He lives in Kane'ohe with his wife, daughter, two dogs and two mice.