All the parenting advice says that if you tell your children you're going to punish them, you need to follow through.

That's all well and good if you're a calm and rational parent, but that description only fits me on good days.

The rest of the time I tend to go for dramatic effect.

One of my problems is that I often get too extreme — like threatening to take away all my sixth-grade son's electronic media privileges until he graduates from high school. That one's kind of hard to stick to.

Other times I start bellowing before thinking through what I want to say and end up trailing off after a menacing "If you don't stop that right now ..."

Actually, it can't be that menacing, because it never makes my son listen to me.

Over a recent weekend, we were having one of these exchanges in the car because my son wouldn't stop taunting his 3-year-old sister. As I floundered around trying to bring the squabbling to an end, his sister came up with what she thought was the appropriate penalty for her brother: "You will die," she intoned from her car seat.

Her gloomy proclamation broke the tension and we all turned to her, her father commenting that we were raising a 3-year-old goth.

As soon as she had everyone's attention, she repeated gravely, "You will die."

Three-year-olds should not be talking about death.

My son certainly wasn't talking about it when he was 3. However, he has been talking about it a lot lately, generally in the context of video games and entertainment, but sometimes also because he's inherited my dramatic tendencies.

It's clearly rubbing off on his sister, who has picked up on the severity of death, if not actually its meaning.

My son's "punishment" ended up being a lecture about how he has to realize that what he does rubs off on his little sister.

His little sister, on the other hand, returned to her normal chipper self and hasn't mentioned death since.

However, if she starts showing a preference for black clothes and skulls and crossbones, we might need to have a chat.

Reach Treena Shapiro at tshapiro@honoluluadvertiser.com.