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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Tuesday, June 12, 2007

ABOUT WOMEN
Age, looks and finding cat's meow

By Catherine E. Toth
Advertiser Columnist

When it comes to love, does age really matter?

That's what NBC hopes to find out with its new reality show, "Age of Love," scheduled to premiere June 18.

The show will follow Australian tennis hottie Mark Philippoussis, 31 — who says he prefers younger women — as he dates 13 women ranging in age from 21 to 48.

Here's the catch.

The women will be divided into two age groups: those in their 20s — referred to as "Kittens" — and those in their 40s — called "Cougars."

(Apparently, thirtysomethings don't rate.)

It's an interesting premise for a reality show, pitting younger women against those old enough to be their mothers.

Of course, if you've seen any of the previews, one thing is obvious.

If age doesn't matter, looks definitely do.

These aren't your typical 40-year-olds.

They may have more experiences with messy breakups, overbearing bosses and Lamaze than the twentysomethings. But they've got the skin, thighs and dress size of women half their age.

The bottom line is when it comes to dating — especially on national TV — looks count more than age does.

Yes, physical attraction is important in any relationship. We all judge prospective mates — at least at first — by the way they look, dress, eat, walk and smile.

Does he laugh too loudly? Does he slouch? Is he strong enough to carry me out of a burning building?

We all know instinctively that looks shouldn't matter.

Over time we all change physically. Abs go soft, jeans don't fit the same and hair starts growing from strange places.

And we know that there's more to people than their haircuts and shoe choices.

But we often ignore all rational thinking when we're dating.

It took years to realize — then recognize — what I needed and wanted in a mate.

At first, even age was an issue for me.

I never dated younger guys until several years ago — for no particular reason other than habit — and breaking that unwritten rule, then others, opened me up to more possibilities.

We go through life believing in an ideal, a kind of person we envision spending the rest of our lives with. Some of us even make lists.

But often we don't fully know what we want — or need — in a relationship until we find it.

I never expected to have a boyfriend who can talk more than me, who hates going to the beach on weekends and who can fit into some of my clothing. (Not a bragging point.)

But it's worked out for five happy years now.

I've realized that job titles aren't as important as ambition, salaries aren't as significant as spending habits, and looks don't last.

And age?

I'll take maturity, thanks.

Reach Catherine E. Toth at ctoth@honoluluadvertiser.com. Read her daily blog at blogs.honoluluadvertiser.com.