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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Silent march speaks for victims

Video: Vigil for Big Island boy stabbed while protecting mom

By Rod Ohira
Advertiser Staff Writer

Hawaii news photo - The Honolulu Advertiser

About 60 people turned out yesterday for a Hawaii State Coalition Against Domestic Violence march. The silent march was to raise awareness on domestic violence and to remember victims.

JEFF WIDENER | The Honolulu Advertiser

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HELP IS AVAILABLE

Hawaii State Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 832-9316.

National Domestic Violence hotline, (800) 799-SAFE (-7233).

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About 60 people marched in silence around the state Capitol yesterday, many holding signs that shouted out their message: "Stop Domestic Violence."

The event, organized by the Hawaii State Coalition Against Domestic Violence, was prompted by last week's stabbing death of 14-year-old Tyran Vesperas-Saniatan on the Big Island but had the larger goal of raising awareness of domestic violence and what people can do when confronted with it.

Nearly one-fourth of the 280 murders in Hawai'i from 1992 to 1997 stemmed from domestic violence, a state attorney general's report said, and some participants yesterday said the problem might be getting worse.

"We know that every murder on the Big Island last year was related to domestic violence and that there are more than 1,000 bed-nights per month being used at shelters there," said Sue Green, a domestic violence educator with the coalition. "People are calling us asking, 'What's going on?' "

One of the marchers was Donna Weber of McCully, who wore a T-shirt with a photo and memorial to her daughter, Daysha Iwalani Aiona Aka, who was shot to death in Hilo Nov. 1 in the presence of her 2-year-old son. Her ex-boyfriend, Jeffrey Santos Jr., has been charged with murder.

"I want people to speak up and get help before it's too late," Weber said.

Safeway donated $5,000 to the coalition in memory of Aka, a Safeway department manager, and the money is being used for a "fly to freedom" program that helps women fleeing an abusive situation to travel home to family, Green said.

Rumi Murakami, who is six months pregnant, and her 9-year-old son Max Turville were also among those who took part in yesterday's march.

"Pregnancy and ending a relationship are the greatest risk factors for violence," said Murakami, who considers herself a survivor of an abusive relationship.

"No one expects things to escalate but looking back now, there were a lot of signs," she said. "It's widespread here and still very much behind closed doors."

The problem remains hidden in homes, said Dara Carlin of Kailua, who said she is also a survivor of an abusive relationship.

"Domestic violence thrives in silence. ... If people don't recognize it, don't question it, it can't be stopped," Carlin said.

"Everybody knows everybody on a small island. People feel shame so they don't talk about it.

"There are 45,000 reported survivors in Hawai'i. And that's just the reported survivors. There are a lot more people who don't reach out for help. I'm part Japanese, so I was brought up with the 'hold your tongue' attitude. ... You don't speak out because you feel guilty (but) you're hurting your marriage and destroying the family you care for by doing so."

Former city administrator Salvatore Lanzilotti carried a sign that read, "Another man for peace at home."

"This is not a woman's issue, it's our issue as well," Lanzilotti said.

Tyran Vesperas-Saniatan was fatally stabbed June 11 at his family's Pahoa home while trying to protect his pregnant mother, who was stabbed in the abdomen. The unborn child did not survive. His father, Tyrone Vesperas, has been charged with murder.

Reach Rod Ohira at rohira@honoluluadvertiser.com.