Q. What is your "ticket" method for dealing with a child's misbehavior?

A. Time-out works with kids who are already fairly well-behaved. A more powerful message is required for children whose misbehavior exceeds "occasionally" and "childish."

Tickets can either supplement time-out (if the child will cooperate) or substitute for it. The requirements are a magnetic clip, three to five "tickets" cut from colored construction paper (they are easier to handle and more durable if laminated), and a list of no more than five problem behaviors, as in "refusing to do what I tell you to do," "ignoring me when I speak to you," "yelling at me when I do not give you what you want," and the like. For pre-readers, simple drawings can substitute for word descriptions, but if parents are consistent with enforcement, this isn't necessary.

With children younger than 42 months (3 1/2 years), I recommend starting with one "target" behavior and five tickets. When the initial misbehavior is under control, a second can be added to the program. The target behavior(s) are posted on the refrigerator. The tickets are put in the magnetic clip, which is also affixed to the refrigerator.

Every time the child exhibits a target behavior, the parent on the scene takes the child over to the refrigerator and says, "(The behavior) is on your list, which means I'm taking a ticket." The parent takes a ticket out of the clip and places it on top of the refrigerator. If the child will cooperate, a time-out of five to 15 minutes can also be enforced. If time-out is used, the chair should be in a relatively isolated place, and the period should be defined by a timer as opposed to the parent saying, "You can get up now." Certain outrageous behaviors — hitting, for example — can result in the loss of more than one ticket at a time.

The child begins every day with a certain number of tickets. When they have all been lost, the child spends the rest of the day in his room and goes to bed one hour early. The next day, the proverbial slate is wiped clean — all of the child's tickets are restored and the procedure begins anew. I generally recommend that the "play value" of the child's room be significantly reduced during the child's rehabilitation.

The program's success depends on parents observing the "Referee's Rule": no threats, warnings or second chances. When the child misbehaves, it is essential that parents not say things like "Do you want to lose a ticket?" Also, lost tickets cannot be earned back with good behavior or acts of service.

As the child's behavior improves, the number of tickets can be gradually reduced so as to keep pressure on the child's progress. Generally speaking, full rehab takes six to 12 weeks.

Family psychologist John Rosemond answers parents' questions at www.rosemond.com.